sorry, no photos.
i arrived at ilana's shortly before 8:00 am. ilana wasn't ready yet. she invited me to breakfast with her, and i enjoyed a bowl of meuslix and a cup of tea. we coated ourselves in sunscreen and were on our way.
ilana's new bike, a GT Karakoram, is awesome. it weighs a good five pounds less than mine, attributable to many factors: 1) better bike 2) frame size 5" smaller than mine 3) no kickstand! and her bike has an awesome gear ratio allowing her to pedal up almost anything like it was a walk in the park. we decided to go in brutus. ilana displayed appropriate amounts of awe and admiration for brutus, and he was pleased. we were going to a trail that ilana had heard from friends was a "must ride." neither of us knew what to expect, but we were both up for an adventure, so we went.
we drove about 9 miles up flagstaff road, a very steep road through very beautiful areas. we got to the parking area for the walker ranch loop trail and unloaded.
the first 3/4 of a mile of trail was straight downhill on a well maintained road, almost wide enough for fire access status. this made us nervous, as no lost elevation ever comes free. at the bottom of the road was the creek, and two forks in the trail. one lead up and the other snaked along the river. we tried the up one first, and were extremely and immediately unsuccessful in assaulting the steep and rocky incline. we opted to go back down and try the creek trail.
no luck. the trail dead-ended at a gate with many "no trespassing" "stay out" "intruders will be shot" "this means you, mountain biker" signs. being adventurous, but not stupid, we turned around.
our second assault on the hill was marginally more successful, but still distressingly inadequate to the task at hand, and before we could say "fat tire" we were off and pushing.
several sequences of ride, push, ride, push, and ilana made a startling discovery regarding her difficulties in riding. her back tire was flat. extremely flat. not to worry, i had a patch kit and a pump with me.
ok, worry. number one, she had presta valves and i had a schraeder pump (we managed to fake it with the pump, difficult but marginally successful). number two. we can't find the hole. which is extremely weird, because the hole is big enough that the air leaks out almost immediately when pumped.
at two times we both thought we had identified the hole by sound, but upon visual inspection were unable to find it. disturbingly, we did both identify the correct location of the hole, but we were looking at the wrong side of the tube, assuming that the puncture would be on the *outside*. silly us. we pumped up the tire, put it back on the bike, and tried to ride.
no dice, in minutes it was completely without air and we were frantic. i had brought a spare tube, but thinking the patch kit adequate, had left it in the truck. we knew it was a long way back. we had no idea what lay ahead. we were in a conundrum.
enter knight on white horse #1. a very nice fellow on a GT karakoram not unlike ilana's own stopped and found the hole. actually, a quarter inch slash on the *inside* of the tube. ilana set to patching while i set to find the cause of the tear in her rim. analysis resulted in determining the weight-saving rim spoke guard rubber strip was too small to provide complete coverage. it slides to the side. i attempted to center it, no guarantee it would stay that way, but what can you do?
time to pump it up and my pump just was not cutting it. enter knight on white horse #2. i can't remember what he was riding, but it was a nice bike with full suspension. he had a pump with presta valve. he also gave us a clue as to what lay ahead. basically, 6 more miles of alternating heaven and hell. wunderbar.
it just so happened that the section of trail just after where we had stopped was especially steep, and we pushed most of the way. even still we managed to pass knight #2. he caught up to us at the top and told us which way to go, and that there was a cliff region which we would have to carry our bikes down. ok.
the next section wasn't so bad, it was across a wide sloping meadow, mostly downhill. but it was sandy and rocky. a combination that allowed me to demonstrate on several occasions, the simple procedure of Falling Off of One's Bike.
the first fall: cannonballing down a hill. too fast, because my hands are tired from the continuous braking. bottom of hill, quick turn up with simultaneous turn to the left (uphill side). too fast into the turn, tires hit soft sand on downhill side and down i go. hard. i mean REALLY hard. the 'lost wind, check helmet' kind of hard. damage check: 6 sq inches of flensed flesh on left arm. good sized bruise on left thigh. we washed it off a bit with some of our precious water, but it was a bit hopeless.
the trail got very technical, very fast. being experienced and thus, stupider, i barrelled down pretty well. sections i would never have tried before i managed to pick my way down. ilana was wisely playing it cautious and walking most of the rocky bits. my second fall took a chunk off my left knee. my third fall landed me square on the top tube of my frame. i thanked god profoundly that i was female. i didn't even want to think what the pain i was feeling would have translated to with outdoor plumbing. as it was i had to sit down for a minute.
enter knight on white horse #3 who filled my bike bottle from his camel back. ilana and i were getting pretty good at the "damsel in distress" bit.
note: we saw only two other women mountain biking this trail, going in the opposite direction. riding together, without men. isn't that odd? i guess not. actually, it makes a lot of sense.
we took a rest and made it through the rest of this section with very little event. we did practice assaulting steep difficult hills and cheering one another along. ilana has the strength to climb anything. experience and skill will come fast and she'll be unstoppable. i have the experience and technique, but i'm weak. and i most probably always will be. as it was, i impressed myself a couple of times on some hills.
a signpost ahead reads: DANGER! CLIFF CONDITIONS. BIKERS DISMOUNT. we had come to the cliff knight #2 warned us about.
ok, imagine this. you're hiking down yosemite falls trail, and you're carrying a bike on your shoulder. no, make that the mist trail up to nevada falls. THAT steep. slow, and down. giving up all the altitude we'd gained. soon we were back at the creek. i took the opportunity to wash off my wounds. by chance there was a woman with a filter pump down there, hiking. she filled my water bottle. we soaked ourselves, picked our bikes back up and began hiking out.
we were, at this time, slightly more than halfway through, or so said some bikers who we passed when we crossed the stream. they told us that we would follow the trail UP and then see the trail turn to the left. "well, it's marked 'bikes not recommended' but it isn't that bad. your only other choice is to grind up the road" well, we'll just see about that.
next section, steep upsy downs. we had little difficulty. then the trail started seriously up. while pushing ilana commented, "i didn't need the bike to hike this trail, why did we bring these with us?" even with all the walking we were making pretty good time by then as nothing more broke and i managed to keep my seat. we came to the point where the trail turned left and the road continued up to a parking area.
"fuck it."
we took the road. straight up. this turned out to be the Right Decision. though it was a hill from absolute hell. ilana blasted right up it, taking full advantage of her gear ratio and superior strength to weight ratio. she's a goddess. i pedaled as far as i could, then almost passed out. that scared me, so i got off and pushed. what can i say, i'm weak!
uneventful until we got to brutus, just before the guys who had passed us came out of the other trail. if it took them THAT long to finish, we had definitely made the right choice in taking the road. we clawed our way up into brutus and headed for home. the gonzo bikers RODE home. no way.
we stopped at an amoco on pearl for gas, as brutus was HUNGRY. ilana contributed four bucks, for which i was very grateful. there were three guys at a table on a second floor bar patio that i caught checking brutus out. yeah, we know he's bad. and?
ilana then allowed me to shower, and she FED me. i love this woman. she made pizza. mmmmmm. the shower, though, that was pretty funny. the dirt sluiced off me like a mud slide. i was filthy. i scrubbed hard at my wounds, though it made me scream. they looked like there was still dirt in them, and it wouldn't come out. i chanted "take the hit, take the hit" and kept scrubbing.
turns out, the "dirt" was actually scabs. no wonder it hurt so much. ilana brought out the med-kit and i put betadine, antibiotic ointment and bandages in all the appropriate places.
it was a long tired drive home.
