location: telnet boutell.com 4096 "Nerdsholm" 2/20/96: GNAT AND J.J'S WEDDING: 7pm MST (6pm PST, 9pm EST, 2am 2/21 GMT) Void INTERRUPTION OF EXISTENTIALISM: gnat and j.j are getting married Tuesday the 20th of February at 7pm MST (6pm PST). The wedding is taking place in the chapel, north of the bar. Go "down" to the bar, then "north" to the doorway of the chapel. Please be quiet in the chapel during the service. Raucous reception to follow. This VOID will return the morning after the raucousness. >d Klortho's Bar Welcome to Klortho's. A squid is cheating at cards in a corner, while the bouncer plays piano. A sign over a door to the north reads "Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium." Contents: TTT.BTT, Invitation, saint.bob, vat.bob postponed, Michele, Tom, inkster, gnat, Sai, Lock's new email address, miyume, jules, troc, d., AjD, pirich, kevin_s, ninj, waider, j.j pirich says, "Hey, j.j" inkster logs off to dig up the pink ruffled shirt and rhinestone cufflinks. ninj says, "yay! it's j.j!" ninj hugs j.j inkster has disconnected. inkster goes home. j.j says, "i just started the log of the wedding." kevin_s says, "bt, doing that." j.j says, "i have a healthy buzz. it's amazing what years of drinking only beer will do to your tolerance for hard alcohol." j.j staggers up to the chapel >n Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, kristen, j.j j.j says, "hi, guys. whatcha doing?" >n Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is still and quiet. Heehoo sleeps off last night's bachelor's party in the corner. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Contents: plord, j.j >s Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, kristen, j.j >s Klortho's Bar Welcome to Klortho's. A squid is cheating at cards in a corner, while the bouncer plays piano. A sign over a door to the north reads "Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium." Contents: TTT.BTT, Invitation, saint.bob, vat.bob postponed, Michele, Tom, gnat, Sai, Lock's new email address, miyume, jules, troc, d., AjD, pirich, kevin_s, ninj, waider, j.j Sai relays matt: will there be fresh flowers in the chappel? j.j says, "yup." Sai relays matt: whats the colour scheme, i dont want to clash j.j paints matt a vibrant purple with orange contrast. "there. you'll fit in fine." AjD says, "anybody know if s9 is coming?" j.j says, "no idea." AjD says, "i have a tequila question for him when he does." ninj says, "looking asthetically current there matt!" AjD has to finish editing the service. will be mildly afk. j.j gulps. Sai relays: amyl puts on her bubblewrap suit waider afk for FUD! AjD says, "editing for mud-ness, j.j. the content's set in stone." j.j says, "it's not that, art. i'm just nervous." ninj checks his cloak AjD says, "nervous? why? WE'RE HERE FOR YOU!" Sai relays matt: and here... j.j says, "set soundtrack: judybats, "pain makes you beautiful."" AjD plays some pedal chords for emphasis. j.j says, "oh, i feel so much better now." j.j chills. >who User On Idle Doing waider 42m 2m Waider & Orla Tom 6h 24m Thomas Boutell, virtual host j.j 7m 0s jenine abarbanel, the bride ninj 2h 2m steve wong, NZ friend of groom, metaverse hero pirich 32m 7m miyume 1h 35m N. Whitney (miyume@shadow.net) jules 47m 15m Sai 1h 1m kevin_s 1h 5m Kevin Schnitzius gnat 4h 15m Nathan Torkington, Da Groom kristen 16m 10m Kristen Ankiewicz (kristen@cybercom.net) troc 2h 25m Rocco Caputo , Spectator tapaboy 54m 23m Johnathan Vail d. 30m 10m d. Page, Haruspex. AjD 28m 59s Art Delano, freelance marryin' sam End of List. ninj says, "speaking of that, it's damn cold here" Sai says, "Wimp" Sai says, "Its 18 degrees..." Sai says, "*hot*" Sai relays ninj: "not in my office matey waider @ about 0 - 2 Celsius ninj says, "d'oh! gotta get the right window" waider turns on the heating again AjD says, "over here, it's probably 57f outside and 85f inside. my apartment's heating is on the fritz again." AjD exits to the chapel. waider puts on a cosy wool jumper miyume blinks AjD has arrived. waider says, "it occurs to me that the last major talk.bizarre gathering I attended was also a wedding." AjD has left. miyume loves weddings ninj says, "miyume: hi!" miyume says, "Hiya Ninj. " miyume smiles radiantly richter has arrived. richter says, "good MORNING." richter says, "hey." d. exits to the chapel. d. has arrived. richter says, "does anyone have an old copy of the second edition of "Oh Pascal" sitting around? it's an old cs text..." richter blinks. oh that's right. AjD has arrived. richter <- buffoon richter has left. d. says, "brb" richter has arrived. richter exits to the chapel. AjD says, "alright. my scheme will work. the sermon will NOT suck!" ninj says, "heh heh hehhehehhehheh" richter has arrived. rmk has arrived. d. has disconnected. d. has connected. waider exits to the chapel. rmk says, "hello, hello..." ninj says, "hi!" miyume says, "Hello!" ninj waves waider has arrived. ninj says, "hmm, hope we don't get net problems during the ceromony" AjD says, "it won't happen. incantations and sacrifices to the proper gods will assure this." gnat says, "heehoo is a very improper god." waider says, "and d. sacrficing vampyr" gnat is in his duds. gnat says, "j.j isn't impressed with my tie, though. *I* like it!" ninj says, "whoa" Sai relays amyl: whatcha wearin, nat? Sai relays amyl: which tie? AjD says, "she'd like it better if you straightened the tie, nat." rmk says, "ties are for interviews." miyume is excited. waider says, "*that's* not where you wear a tie!" gnat says, "wearing suit pants, new jacket, new white shirt, and I want to use the many-blues tie." Sai relays: amyl LIKES the many-blues tie ninj says, "uh, isn't that the tie with the naked babe on it?" Sai relays amyl: jj: you should have seen some of his other ones gnat says, "ninj: nope, that and the foreskin tie have been retired." waider ponders "Foreskin tie" waider says, "Rub it and it turns into a rope?" gnat says, "she picked out a bunch of yuppie ties for me at the outlet mall - I'm not sure I want to get married while dressed in something trendy. Twenty years from now it's going ot look like I was married in an Afro." Sai relays: amyl is jealous of jj having the luxury to reject a tie that normal miyume immediately thought of some peculiar competition where there was No Clear Winner... gnat says, "amy: she's reaping the benefits of all the taming you did." troc says, "Hello again." gnat grins, imaging j.j confronted with 1991 Nat. Sai relays amyl: in my day we had to reject ties made of hippo foreskins. And walk to school barefoot through the snow. gnat says, "s/imaging/imagining/" AjD imagines opaque winners. waider grins at miyu. Heh. miyume giggles anthony has arrived. waider eeks. LAgbeast attack. anthony says, "Howdy, all." gnat drinks some more. rmk rmk drinks some more. waider says, "Someone like to ftp me a beer?" gnat says, "midori + vodka + orange juice = a melonball = a 'bracer'." gnat gnat drinks drinks some some more more. gnat says, "whoa, time to stop." rmk says, "It's Wicked Red here." troc says, "More like a bracer of stunning, +1" miyume will brb gnat says, "muscle relaxant" impenetrably. richter blinks AjD drinks a bigfoot barleywine vintage 95. Sai relays: amyl ftps waider a DB Natural and a Black Mac j.j says, "terri!" j.j says, "terri!" j.j bounces. waider has no idea but downs them anyway. Sai relays: amyl wanders off to illots in search of wedges ninj says, "?" anthony fumbles with his camcorder. richter bounces at j. j.j says, "someone who's known me for years and years!" richter bounces AjD says, "woo. hadda clean the trackball. can't afford to be unable to switch windows at inopportune times..." Sai says, "Why is my radio whining at me?" j.j cries on terri's shoulder. anthony says, "Check check check... okay." richter would have made PEW BOWS if she had more warning richter hugs j. You'll be FINE. j.j says, "anthony!" richter nodsndosndos anthony says, "Hi, j.j!" j.j says, "hi!" AjD says, "bah. now i can't get the locking ring to lock. okay, nobody jump around too much or i may lose the tracking ball." ninj says, "what's a pew bow?" j.j says, "i have MAKEUP on. ICK." kevin_s says, "Who gets to hold the shotgun?" anthony says, "Pew bows are related to butt bows, I think." richter says, ""pew bows are things that hang on the end of a pew in a boring church wedding." ninj says, "me! me!" anthony adjusts his cravat. j.j says, "nat recommends not wearing makeup and using photoshop to retouch the pictures." richter snorts. richter usually *wears* makeup and then wishes she had photoshop to retouch both the makeup and herself anyway j.j afk to take the ropes off the ceiling (don't ask) AjD whistles troc bites his tongue. ninj says, "j.j: I was told you looking stunning without makeup..." miyume returns richter says, "j.j is a GODDESS without makeup." j.j says, "ninj: i'm going to go out on a limb here and guess your source is biased." ninj says, "wow. gnat's getting married to a rocket scientist" j.j says, "well, that's true, terri, but ..." richter says, "J.j is a goddess even covered in sweat and dust, so there." ninj says, "j.j: not biased at all!" j.j grins. j.j says, "brb." >n Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, kristen, j.j >n Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is still and quiet. Heehoo sleeps off last night's bachelor's party in the corner. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Contents: plord, j.j >s Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, kristen, j.j >s Klortho's Bar Welcome to Klortho's. A squid is cheating at cards in a corner, while the bouncer plays piano. A sign over a door to the north reads "Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium." Contents: TTT.BTT, Invitation, saint.bob, vat.bob postponed, Michele, Tom, gnat, Sai, Lock's new email address, miyume, jules, troc, pirich, kevin_s, ninj, d., AjD, richter, rmk, waider, anthony, j.j AjD says, "her too, even1" ninj prays to j.j "i'm not worthy! i'm not worthy!..." anthony exits to the chapel. AjD says, "bah. fucking shift key." j.j says, "it's ok, ninj, i'm not marrying you." richter has witnessed j.j be covered in what, potato pellets, chocolate from ghiradelli, dust, pancake batter, sweat.... richter says, "although not all at the same time." ninj says, "lucky me?" j.j lol!!! j.j says, "potato pellets! aie!" Tom says, "hi hi." richter snorts troc loiters. AjD says, "hi tom. how goes maintenance and internal affairs?" miyume blinks j.j says, "well. time for the hair. here, talk to gnat. terri, no stories until i get back!" AjD blinks at miyume. anthony has arrived. AjD says, "45 minutes" ninj says, "terri: now is the best time" richter snorts miyume says, "I'd better put on my glasses" richter says, "STORIES?? WHAT STORIES WOULD I POSSIBLY TELL??" richter snorts waider switches on logging Sai relays ninj: "if you don't know any, make them up! AjD says, "terri: write your @doing!" rmk says, "if the snorting and blinking are kept down to a dull roar, then we may be saved the horrors of swapping." richter snorts AjD snorts at richter. Sai has disconnected. Sai goes home. Tom says, "internal affairs seem fine." AjD belches. miyume pats AjD on the back AjD says, "need more alcohol. i got a late start." richter says, "how does this one do @doings?" gnat waves. Tom says, "rmk: swapping is considered unlikely. It's overwhelming the pipe that I'm a little nervous about... but no one is here yet." Tom says, "richter: same as always. @doing blah blah blah" ninj says, "oop! there goes the gateway!" Sai has arrived. richter did it. yep. ninj says, "oop! there goes the gateway! gateway back" AjD says, "yay1" troc says, "Heh. `overwhelming the pipe`. Heh-heh." richter oops. Sai says, "Heh... it got dumped for excess flooding. I thought that might happen :)" Sai says, "Nobody get any ideas..." AjD jls 'overwhelming the pipe'. good idea for later. waider ties Sai's connection to the bar gnat says, "that can wait for the reception. heh heh." AjD says, "you must overwhelm the pipe, or the pipe will master you." richter has pipe nature miyume says, "Become the pipe..." rmk says, "waking the sleeping giant." AjD is grinning. and grinning. troc is not a pipe. miyume smokes tro miyume says, "oops" richter says, "il n'est pas un pipe" miyume says, "troc" AjD says, "ceci n'est pas troc" ninj practices the way of the pipe ninj says, "yay! it's sue!" Sai relays sue: hi ninj! Tom says, "we have a few touches working for us to prevent overload... if things get backed up, that will only help the modem compress data." AjD opens the tequila. fucking expensive bottle, too. better be good. rmk says, "we need kludge here to take care of the relays." rmk says, "brb. need more beer." AjD sings, "the relays, the relays, the motherfuckin' relays / take care of all your delays, / by cleaning all the relays!" brett has arrived. Sai relays: amyl arrives back with a healthful snack of wedges and chocolate milk gnat smoochies brett! Sai relays amyl: ewwwwww gnat softly hums "hey, hey, the gang's all here ..." AjD says, "what's 'wedges' amyl?" miyume hugs brett! brett smoochies gnat and j.j while they're still single. gnat gives AjD a wedge! brett says, "Miyu!" miyume smiles miyume says, "brett: Long time! (I've been saying that all night...hehe)" Sai relays amyl: AjD: like frenchfries, only shaped like orange segments rather than rectangles Sai relays amyl: AjD: traditionally coated in spicy mixture and served with sour cream (and maybe chili sauce, I have chili sauce) Sai relays amyl: traditionally = ever since they got popular (maybe 3 years) gnat gets hungry at the description. AjD takes a sip of patron. it is orgasm sublimated. gnat is currently drinking on an empty stomach. gnat ewwwws at the 'orgasm sublimated'. Sai relays amyl: bad nathan! Sai relays sue: gnat: so where exactly are you now? gnat says, "amy: but you get drunk faster this way!" AjD says, "he's with me now." richter whimpers richter likes wedges anthony says, "Howdy, Brett." heehoo has arrived. brett should get drunk. It is, after all, a party. waider listens to gonzo swap, swap, swap ninj says, "terri: order some from the bar!" miyume says, "heehoo!" brett says, "Hi Andy." heehoo says, "Yowzah." anthony hails He Who Heehoo gnat says, "I'm here in the bedroom with the computer set up. j.j is getting prettified. I'm waiting for Fred and Stevi the physical best man and bridesmaid to turn up so we can get naked and .... uh, I mean, so Fred can show me how to tie a tie." AjD says, "ai. amyl: those wedges they call 'jojos' here." gnat says, "heya heehoo. How's it going?" gnat says, "AjD: seriously? jojos?" AjD says, "hi andy. how 'ya doing?" AjD says, "gnat: seriously." waider says, "silent 'j', AjD?" richter says, "you don't know how to tie a tie?" AjD says, "usually just fried, tho'. not often with sauce." gnat says, "AjD: this country gets weirder every time I learn more about it." heehoo says, "Well, sir, I'm in another dimension." brett says, "Bow ties are tough." gnat says, "richter: no. deal." waider says, "with voyeuristic intention" Sai relays: amyl ALSO remembers when nathan didn't drink AjD says, "waider:loud j." Sai relays amyl: well secluded? richter is old. She learned how from a Vogue article around when Annie Hall was a popular movie. waider says, "redneck j, HAW, HAW" Sai relays sue: gnat: cool :) So the wedding is going to be in the bedroom then. Are you nervous? AjD says, "actually, i know a really good place for jojos in boston. it's right on the redline, you can see it from the train window." gnat says, "yes, rather. So is j.j. But we're drinking lots, so that's ok." waider says, "Does this mean you're coming to Boston?" richter wanna go to bahston. gnat twitches, as his stomach reminds him how much there is yet to be eaten in the world. AjD says, "wanna, waider. can't." gnat : devourer of worlds and webmaster for money. Sai relays amyl: AjD: I'm not sure I'd like them so much without the sour cream to balance the texture and cut the spice rmk says, "just stop by in Framingham." troc says, "Gnatactus?" AjD says, "they're not spiced, amyl. potatos. oil. hot. salt. eat." brett screams at his ISP. "Back in a jiffy. troc says, "So, will you be Mr. Nathan Abarbanel?" brett has disconnected. brett goes home. Sai relays amyl: AjD: ah, we call that something else again :) heehoo perverts Billy Joel and Jesse Jackson: "Well we're living still in Hymietown..." gnat says, "AjD: I made your pasta primo vera last night. Left out the egg as per j.j's recommendation. Yummo. I could FEEL my arteries hardening." Sai relays amyl: to wit "chunky chipc" heehoo says, "....but they're closin' all the synagogues down...." Sai relays amyl: chips, even AjD says, "ahh, gnat. if you had some of this tequila in you, you'd be having sensations that would enhance what yr body's already jonesing toward j.j for." brett has arrived. miyume says, "re brett!" AjD says, "ot" AjD says, "it's a boilermaker with the beer i'm drinking. it refines the term 'motherfucker'." heehoo says, "YIPPIE KAY YAY MOTHER FUCKER!" miyume says, "Brb. Must escort The Child to b-e-d." gnat says, "troc: I was thinking Mr Adolf Albert Nuremberg Fidelity Pasteur Call-Me-Ishmael Sphinctre Lassitude Jones, myself. But then again, we could just keep our names." AjD eeeks! rmk says, "AjD: bastard, now I'm starting to think about the Irish Whiskey downstairs." richter is still fixated on the fries. she decides to run downstairs for cheese fries. brb richter has left. Sai relays amyl: Johann Gambolputty de vun Auschfern Crasscrenbon... AjD says, "i'm so fucking happy i snagged this rather than a singlemalt. yes, it's THAT fucking goood." troc says, "Just checking, Gnat." brett gets booze envy. AjD says, "to whit: the number of times i've been using the word 'fuck' in the past five minutes." Sai relays amyl: cheesefries sounds good, I bet I'd like cheesefries Sai relays: amyl is a foody squirty has arrived. waider eyes the pizza menu ion front of him, then realizes he'd have to log out to dial for one. Fuck. Sai grabs an apple inkster has arrived. brett says, "Mlis!" gnat says, "suqirty!" AjD says, "yay1 squirty!" squirty hi! gnat says, "uh, mlis I mean!" brett says, "Yay1" waider says, "Hey squirty!" AjD holds a 'squirty #1' sign! inkster says, "lo" heehoo says, "B1FF!" gnat says, "and deany! Have you got the pink ruffles and cufflinks on?" squirty passes out pooh-smooches to all. AjD brb. i need a cushion for my po' butt. squirty says, "how're people?" gnat passes out. heehoo don't want his pooh smooched. inkster says, "you betcha! I'm sporting major nylon." j.j says, "brett!" j.j woowoos inkster brett says, "j.j!" j.j smooch smooch SMOOCHES brett! brett says, "I don't see Meredith, honey." j.j says, "quick, rescue me, i'm about to get married!" anthony has disconnected. anthony goes home. j.j says, "bummer." inkster strikes a 70's pose. AjD carries j.j away from all this! j.j says, "i know, i asked kate to stand in." Sai relays amyl: did I mention that I despise my macintosh? j.j says, "yay! ajd! my SAVIOR." squirty gives j.j and gnat a wedding ferret. brett says, "WHAT?! And here I am, all taffeta-clad!" heehoo says, "Toss the ferret! toss the ferret!" AjD says, "a nice, sensible gift, squirty!" squirty perches on brett's head. ninj says, "squirty: not a newt?" rmk says, "amyl: get a UNIX box!" waider is alive and livin' squirty says, "of course not a newt" AjD gives j.j and gnat SPECIAL finches for the wedding. heehoo says, "Help! a santa hat has been placed upon me!" miyume is back squirty also gives gnat and j.j several miles of dryer hose inkster says, "go with it heehoo." Sai relays amyl: rmk: I have a little mac ghetto of one in a unix department because I am in charge of first years, who are all taught on macs heehoo geddit off geddit off oh man the santa hats are ALL OVER ME! brett gives gant and j.j prize pieces from his extensive collection of little scraps of paper. troc says, "Give them away as presents, heehoo." ninj looks for a good present heehoo says, "I give the Gift of Free Will." brett says, "No Returns." troc says, "Wow, VHS or Beta?" rmk gives gant charts to everyone. vampyr has arrived. heehoo slays the evil punster! j.j says, "eamon!" >who User On Idle Doing waider 1h 2m Waider & Orla resident old maid brett 7m 24s kevin_s 1h 11m Kevin Schnitzius gnat 5h 4m Nathan Torkington, Da Groom kristen 1h 22s Kristen Ankiewicz (kristen@cybercom.net) troc 3h 19s Rocco Caputo , Spectator rmk 40m 12s Rick Kelly tapaboy 1h 1h Johnathan Vail vampyr 19s 11s d. 38m 16m d. Page, Haruspex. AjD 1h 2m Art Delano, freelance marryin' sam heehoo 11m 8s Andy Solberg, the Freakin' Deacon. squirty 10m 1m inkster 5m 1m dean tresner, the besotted bachelor End of List. miyume bows gracefully to vampyr vampyr bursts into tears and immediately struggles for composure. "I love weddings! Please be sure to sign the Guest Book and if you need a hand, don't hesitate to ask!" j.j says, "is everyone paying attention to their @doings?" j.j poks mlis. inkster hands jj and nat 2 tickets to aloha.net vampyr says, "konichiwa, miyume!" squirty blinks Sai relays: amyl tells another gnat story: "when we gave him a vege peeler last xmas he called us sicko perverts. Turns out he thought it was some kind of bizarre sex toy" j.j lol! miyume says, "vampyr, 'chiwa. Genki desu ka?" rmk says, "did it work?" j.j says, "somebody give amy another drink." heehoo says, "That's our carnivorous gnat." gooley has arrived. j.j says, "mark.!" heehoo says, "It's HIM!" gooley says, "greetings to all" miyume bows gracefully to gooley rmk says, "hi gooley!" heehoo says, "the WEDDING GUY." inkster says, "oddly, I have a gift similar to that." brett says, "GOOLEY!" AjD sings the gooley song! troc says, "Hello, Mark.!" j.j yells at nat, "mind the hair! mind the hair!" j.j says, "he's SQUOOOSHING me." heehoo says, "Not in the face! not in the face!" j.j says, "geez." vampyr says, "miyume: umm... hai? no?" j.j says, "spoon! " squirty hola mark.! vampyr exits to the chapel. j.j leaps into battle (afk) Tom says, "only about 23 accounts logged in so far. Not too stressful." >who User On Idle Doing waider 1h 5m Waider & Orla resident old maid brett 10m 12s Evolve or Perish, brett@nol.net kevin_s 1h 13m Kevin Schnitzius gnat 5h 6m Nathan Torkington, Da Groom kristen 1h 3m Kristen Ankiewicz (kristen@cybercom.net) troc 3h 45s Rocco Caputo , Spectator rmk 43m 1m Rick Kelly tapaboy 1h 1h Johnathan Vail vampyr 3m 1s Eamon Daly, Sacrifice AjD 1h 47s Art Delano, freelance marryin' sam heehoo 14m 23s Andy Solberg, the Freakin' Deacon. squirty 13m 6s mlis some chick inkster 8m 1m dean tresner, the besotted bachelor gooley 1m 4s Mark., illegitimate son of the bride End of List. vampyr has arrived. heehoo says, "Swell job, Tom." kristen has arrived. inkster says, "24" heehoo exits to the chapel. brett says, "I've never seen the 'who' list so long." gnat says, "she has 'scully hair', she says." AjD says, "scully's hot." ninj says, "uh, scully hair?" Tom says, "brett: we've done calculations showing that if 50 people show up, someone can speak (to everyone at once) every three seconds. More than that and things get ugly!" AjD says, "x files, nin" AjD says, "tom: yowzers." gnat says, "x files was good last week. more paranoid sister stuff." ninj says, "man, i hate the new haircut terri h. has on superman" gnat says, "ninj: stopped watching it 'cos of that." AjD is listening to nusrat fateh ali khan. i getting in the mood in three ways. squirty says, "every three seconds is a wee bit fast too" squirty has ample experience with hideously spammy events AjD says, "not really. not with 50 people on." brett says, "Ooh. NFAK. Have you heard the new album yet?" AjD says, "nope. i just have this old cd." squirty says, "Well, generally, your best bet is to ask everyone except the importantest people to shut the hell up until the event's over :)" Tom says, "squirty: that will happen, yes." AjD says, "'the day the night the dawn the dusk'" Tom says, "squirty: and the chapel is set 'grand', which means that arrivals, departures, connects and disconnects there are not noticeable." inkster queues quincy jones "the places you find..." brett says, "I think that's the idea, mlis. I plan to be totally silent in the Chapel." kristen has disconnected. kristen goes home. brett exits to the chapel. squirty ssc: <-- veteran of many a pernMUSH hatching (100+ people in one room) pater has arrived. miyume bows to pater Tom says, "squirty: yow, I assume they were on a real connection, not a 28.8 modem." Tom says, "pater: welcome." ninj says, "excited, mr. torkington?" j.j says, "everybody, PLEASE read the 'wedding info pamphlet' BEFORE BEFORE BEFORE entering the chapel!!!!!!" j.j shouts at the top of her lungs. squirty says, "but that was my dark and well-past past" AjD says, "hello pater" ninj hmms ninj exits to the chapel. vampyr better get to ushering, huh? squirty grins at Tom gnat admires j.j's lungs and seeks professional coulse. gooley exits to the chapel. vampyr exits to the chapel. gnat says, "counsel, I mean." squirty says, "isdn isdn isdn" troc says, "Is it here or in the chapel, j.j?" Sai relays sue: hi dean Sai relays dean: hi sue gnat says, "the pamphlet basically says 'shut the fuck up until we're done, THEN you can babble'." Tom says, "troc: in the vestibule of the chapel, north of here." inkster hugs sue d. exits to the chapel. gnat says, "it's in the antechamber (go north) right before the chapel. " miyume read it already. Tom says, "the pamphlet also encourages folks to sign the guestbook." gnat says, "oh yeah, that too, Tom." ninj has arrived. Sai says, "People here won't have a choice..." AjD says, "hm. i haven't yet. guess i'd better." gnat signed the guest book. "test. cope." Tom wanders off to sign the guest book. He encourages you to do so as well. Tom exits to the chapel. richter has arrived. gnat blushes. AjD exits to the chapel. Sai relays sue: sue hugs inkster back and then realises she doesn't know him :) troc exits to the chapel. gnat says, "it's only 60 chars long, not much room for PRECISE anatomical description" inkster exits to the chapel. squirty exits to the chapel. Sai says, "Okay everybody sitting on my shoulder, shall we wander next door and you can sign the guest book?" rmk exits to the chapel. Sai exits to the chapel. ninj says, "gnat: how we doin' ?" gnat twitches as j.j gets NEKKID prior to the insertion of her fair delicate form into the (ca-chung!) DRESS! gnat says, "ninj: good, good. Likkered pretty well. Room spinning. Typing suffering. All is on track." ninj says, "you want her to skip the last part right?" edg has arrived. Vacca has arrived. Alfvaen has arrived. Alfvaen says, "Ho, Vacca." miyume bows gracefully gnat is all for nekkid weddings. Vacca says, "Howdy, howdy." waider exits to the chapel. kevin_s greets the new arrivals. edg waves to the throng gnat says, "hiya Vacca!" gnat says, "and edg!" gnat says, "and Alf!" Vacca says, "Is there some kinda receiving line here?" Vacca says, "Where we can give the groom noogies or something?" troc has arrived. squirty has arrived. brett has arrived. richter arrives with cheesefries which she shares. squirty thinks about getting ice cream hsm Vacca says, "Hey! Cheesfries!" Alfvaen says, "Receiving line's after. Before would be the 'giving line' or something." ninj says, "cheesfries?" j.j says, "shit!" Vacca says, "Erm, cheesefries, even. But they're good anyway." anthony has arrived. j.j says, "fred and stevi are here and i'm NEKKID!" richter says, "there shouldn't be a line before. that's what USHERS are for" squirty well DRESS Vacca well, DON'T. troc says, "The conga line is during the reception." AjD has arrived. anthony mutters *&^%*&^% MCI! richter squeals and leaps at squirty. GODDESS squirty mew mew mew! AjD says, "what d'y think, gnat?" gnat is wearing his Animaniacs socks. Well, j.j's socks technically speaking, but I get ALL her stuff when we marry! gnat grins. Tom has arrived. kate has arrived. Tom has left. Vacca introduces himself to ninj. "I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Vacca. And you are?" Tom has arrived. gooley has arrived. miyume bows to kate kate bows to miyume ninj says, "if don't understand him, it's because gnat's tonuge's on the flor" Alfvaen adds Squirty Well Dress to his Random Band Name list. Alfvaen lags. Alfvaen lags. "Hi, Mark.! ninj says, "vacca: i'm ninj!" squirty's nose itches ninj shakes vacca's hand Vacca says, "Ah... NOW I see. Thanks." squirty scratch scratch miyume winks at ninj squirty petpets richter. ninj winks back j.j is dressed. "yay!" Vacca shakes ninj's hand, or pseudopod, or whatever ninj has. gooley says, "hello Alfv." waider has arrived. miyume admires j.j ninj has a fingerless glove pater has disconnected. pater goes home. brett bows to Kate richter purrrs squirty delicately musses j.j ninj says, "d'oh!" kate says, "hi brett!" waider gives Tom a geek award for his guestbook signing. squirty nibble nibble muss waider says, "yay kate!" Vacca says, "Guestbook? Geekdom? Outta my way!" squirty hi kate! hi waider! waider must go wake up orla soon. Cermony time!!! Vacca charges off to do geeky things! Sai has arrived. kate says, "i must go do something..." Vacca exits to the chapel. >n Sai exits to the chapel. Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, vampyr, d., inkster, rmk, Vacca, Sai, j.j >n Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is still and quiet. Heehoo sleeps off last night's bachelor's party in the corner. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Contents: heehoo, j.j kate has arrived. heehoo says, "hi, toots. " j.j says, "well, here it is." gooley has arrived. waider has arrived. gooley sits ninj has arrived. inkster has arrived. Tom has arrived. troc has arrived. troc sits down. gooley levitates heehoo is still snoring. Somebody kick him. Tom creates a seat. ninj sits down >@set here = grand Flag set. inkster sits Vacca looks about and finally finds his seat. And sits down. Tom kicks heehoo. heehoo says, "Aie!" waider relays: Orla has arrived heehoo says, "What? what? is it dawn yet?" j.j says, "oh, my." gooley wonders if Dawn is here heehoo brushes himself off. Hmph. heehoo takes a seat. Vacca waits uncomfortably. heehoo whispers, "change the desc, if you have time?" ninj uh-oh. red alert. bbl Tom says, "while we're waiting, I thought a BRISK DISCUSSION of POLITICAL SYSTEMS and SUSTAINABLE SECESSIONIST ECONOMIES would be charming." gooley gains altitude and bumps his head waider thwaps Tom heehoo seeks out the organ. Vacca calls Tom's bluff. "Well, are you allowing secessionist economies to maintain access to public goods?" inkster truns tom. gooley plummets to the floor kevin_s says, "Tom: you might want to ask new peoples to set their @doing" jkcohen says, "Isn't the bride supposed to make an entrance?" Tom says, "jkc: don't fret. It will happen." gooley says, "with hammer and chisel" heehoo plays the opening bars to "Funeral For a Friend" gooley gets off the floor and finds a seat jkcohen says, "I suppose you will now find out how many simultaneous connections this software can handle." Sai relays sue: hi tommy! jkcohen takes a pew. Sai relays tommy: hey sue! waider relays: Orla returns to bed, feeling unwell. Aie. Tom yells, "Welcome to j.j and Nat's wedding, and to Nerdsholm. Kindly find your way 'down' to the bar and 'north' to the antechamber, where you will find the wedding info pamphlet and the guest book. Sign the guest book and proceed north to the chapel proper. Thank you!" >@desc here = The wedding chapel is quietly abuzz with excitement. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Red candles are alight on the altar and music plays quietly in the background. Description set. richter ook Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is quietly abuzz with excitement. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Red candles are alight on the altar and music plays quietly in the background. Contents: heehoo, j.j, kate, gooley, waider, ninj, inkster, Tom, Vacca, kevin_s, jkcohen, rmk, Sai, richter, troc, miyume, brett, Alfvaen, strych9, anthony, d., pirich, squirty, thoth Tom says, "jkcohen: yes, this is the moment of truth, or very nearly." miyume looks at her watch Vacca says, "Aie! I have not seen the pamphlet yet!" Tom says, "is someone logging the wedding?" Vacca runs out for a sec. miyume is logging j.j says, "logging." jkcohen says, "I've got my log set." waider notes that an RL chapel is gonging as we speak. gooley hums Pinkham's setting of "set Me As a Seal Upon Thy Heart" ninj says, "2.59pm, NZDT" edg is logging, too. anthony says, "rollling..." Sai says, "logging..." Vacca gets back in his seat. waider logging thoth logs. brett logs Alfvaen sits quietly. ninj doesn't log Sai relays: dean is not logging kevin_s logs, too. Vacca doesn't log. Sai relays: sue waits impatiently Sai relays: amyl hums someone else's. Some Emglish dude. Howells maybe? No, that doesn't sound right. >s waider logs but doesn't inhale. Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, vampyr, pater, becca, kate, AjD, jules, j.j vampyr shakes your hand and welcomes you to the chapel. "Please be sure to sign the Guest Book. If you need a hand, don't hesitate to ask me." jules takes his seat and pours a whiskey. kate hugs j.j becca enters the chapel. AjD says, "j.j = i figure we enter, count five r ten, then enter." vampyr beams at j.j! AjD says, "i mean, i enter, then the next pair, then the next. etc." AjD says, "that's how it's done in rl churches, anyway." jules enters the chapel. AjD says, "just make your entry pose a couple lines long." kate says, "someome give me the marching orders please?" Zed has arrived. AjD says, "'sec..." vampyr tackles zed! "Welcome! Don't forget to 'read pamphlet', 'read program', and sign the guest book!" stevi has arrived. Michele has arrived. vampyr says, "Then head north for the WEDDING of the CENTURY!" Michele waves. Michele wiggles while she can! Zed whispers to those around him that he has to leave in 15 minutes for ANOTHER MEETING. kate hee! pater enters the chapel. vampyr appreciates michele and encourages her to sign the guest book! Zed enters the chapel. vampyr hopes he doesn't get locked out of the chapel. AjD says, "okay. j.j: give marching orders. i can't copy 'em from scrollback." jules has arrived. kate says, "hi jules!" fred has arrived. jules says, "Hey kate. " vampyr welcomess fred! "Don't forget to 'read pamphlet', 'read program', and sign the guest book!" AjD says, "ajd, then jj and nat, then stevi and fred, then kate and jules then pater." kate thinks vampy's working quite hard for someone who'll be sacrificed later Michele waves to vampyr. AjD says, "sound okay?" gnat has arrived. gnat exits to the bar. kate nods. and the same at the end when we leave? gnat has arrived. vampyr shrugs. "got to make my last moments good ones!" Michele adds some fuel to the pyre and sharpens the knives. "Look good, kate?" gnat nervously gulps. kate says, "looks good!" >@desc me = more resplendent a bride than even princess di was. Description set. vampyr says, "you all look so beautiful!" AjD says, "gwarsh1" vampyr cries. j.j says, "ok. we're ready to start thinking now." Michele decides to head into the chapel. AjD thinks Michele enters the chapel. j.j says, "ok. where's nat's dad?" AjD says, "breathe deeeply." AjD says, "page him. he's in the chapel." j.j takes a deep breath. vampyr says, "i think that's everyone. i'm heading in. good luck!" vampyr enters the chapel. kate says, "jv, you should go in." j.j says, "jv has been idle for about a million years." pater has arrived. AjD says, "yay1" digger has arrived. j.j says, "yay!" jules shamalamas. AjD says, "hey digger. show's 'bout to start." j.j says, "digger! you made it!" j.j says, "get into the chapel, dammit!" j.j says, "ok, here's the plan:" digger says, "I'm at work, the peetniks are flipping, got a half an hor!" squirty has arrived. j.j says, "ajd enters, you need to give an @emit because noone will see you enter." AjD says, "great. go north into the chapel, man1" AjD says, "j.j: is @emit implemented?" j.j says, "after ajd, then me and nat. i'll emit for both of us." kate says, "we can @emit?" corprew has arrived. j.j says, "i'm sorry, i mean emote." j.j says, "WHATEVER. i'm STRESSED, ok?" AjD says, "is that the command? emote?" j.j says, "::::" kate says, "sure, j.j. got it." AjD says, "o i get what you mean. nevermind." j.j says, "just do your usual pose thing, ajd." jules says, "We love you j.j, and it will go beautifully." j.j says, "ok. so, after me and nat, stevi and fred." squirty enters the chapel. AjD says, "nervous preacher. who'd'a thunkit1" j.j says, "stevi is going to do it for them." Tom has arrived. corprew has disconnected. corprew goes home. ninj has arrived. j.j says, "then kate and jules. one of you pick an emoter." Tom says, "hello, Please come north to the chapel!" troc has arrived. Tom says, "unless you are involved of course, sorry." kate says, "jules, i'll emote for the 2 of us, okay?" corprew has arrived. Tom says, "I'll stop making a bozo of myself now." Tom enters the chapel. ninj enters the chapel. j.j says, "then pater. can you emote, barry?" jules says, "Kate: fine." troc enters the chapel. j.j says, "i mean, use the : to do something?" AjD says, "pose, emote, same thing." j.j says, "right." corprew enters the chapel. pater emote? jules says, "thas-a-one." AjD brb. fucking door! j.j says, "ok. your emote should be something like this: ": enters the chapel, looking stunning he/she/it walks up the aisle and positions him/her/itself appropriately with respect to the minister dude."" j.j says, "be creative." anthony has arrived. j.j waits to make sure everyone understands what the fuck she's babbling about. kate says, "are we supposedly sitting somewhere up front or standing?" j.j says, "anthony! get in the chapel already." anthony enters the chapel. pater enters the chapel. digger has disconnected. digger goes home. j.j says, "ok. nat will stand on MY RIGHT. stevi to my left. fred to nat's right. kate to stevi's left. jules to fred's right." j.j says, "aw, shit." j.j has to laugh. pater has arrived. j.j says, "yay!" kate says, "i actually understood that." pater says, "where's the map?" j.j says, "ok, barry: after kate and jules leave, you enter the chapel, do your emote ending with "takes a seat in the front left pew." ok?" AjD back j.j giggles, "i have to use the potty!" AjD says, "go." kate says, "bride/groom each followed by RL witness then virtual witness of appropriate gender" gnat says, "you should have thought of that earlier!" AjD says, "'sokay, gnat. chill" jules creates a potty for j.j j.j says, "well ok. do we all understand, more or less?" AjD nods j.j says, "fred says, "just go!"" corprew pages: I predicted this when gnat changed his travel plans in NY. jules nods. AjD says, "now?" kate says, "cool!" corprew pages: this is scary. You paged corprew: shhh! we're thinking! j.j says, "hold on. barry, are you with us?" AjD says, "say when" pater says, "yes" j.j says, "gotta make sure we're all on the same page here." j.j says, "GREAT. let's go." j.j takes a deep breath. jules quickly hugs j.j AjD enters the chapel. >n Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is quietly abuzz with excitement. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Red candles are alight on the altar and music plays quietly in the background. Contents: heehoo, gooley, waider, inkster, kevin_s, jkcohen, rmk, Sai, miyume, brett, Alfvaen, strych9, d., pirich, thoth, edg, M., Vacca, jfw, richter, becca, Zed, Michele, vampyr, squirty, Tom, ninj, troc, corprew, anthony, AjD, j.j becca wonders if running in the chapel is inappropriate Vacca says, "Quetzlcoatlatl. For flinging winged serpents." troc powers up his thinsuit. gooley muses on censership Vacca runs in the chapel... WITH SCISSORS! vampyr says, "it's starting!" pirich makes a shuushing noise jfw says, "It's startling!"" gooley haul;s felicity off the keyboard j.j and gnat enter as a hush falls over the crowd. they walk to the front of the chapel to stand in front of AjD, gnat on the right, j.j on the left. rmk says, "hi jfw!" Tom yells, "hush, now." You paged Tom: thank you. Michele wiggles silently. Sai relays: sue recovers after the phone cut off the modem. I resisted the temptation to yell "I'm at a wedding - go away!!" kate and jules, virtual maid of honor and virtual best man, enter at the back of the chapel. stevi and fred enter the chapel and walk solomnly until they stand next to the bride and groom, stevi on jenine's left and fred on gnat's right. pater says, "pardon" > kate stands next to stevi on jenine's left, and jules next to fred on nat's right. AjD clears his throat. You whisper "ok, we're ready to go." to AjD. AjD says, "We are here to celebrate the marriage of one Nathan Torkington and one Jenine Abarbanel." AjD says, "We" AjD says, "have each known of these people, both alone and" AjD says, "together, and some have partaken of them. All present" AjD says, "can reliably witness to their existence as human beings," AjD says, "and not as cabbages or something." AjD says, "Let us now pause for ten seconds to reflect on our" AjD says, "gullibility thereby implied." AjD says, "As we witness the vowing of their consummation, let us" AjD says, "consider how deeply this momentous occasion strikes each" AjD says, "of us personally. When individual differences are set" AjD says, "aside by use of this magic medium called The Internet," AjD says, "where we subsume our personalities in playacted behavior" AjD says, "and multiple nom-de-nets, we realize that it does," AjD says, "indeed, require physical remoteness for many of us to" AjD says, "truly loose our inhibitions. We must all cherish the" AjD says, "awareness that, somehow, people are still experiencing" AjD says, "physical knowing of a most biblical nature." pirich sniffles AjD says, "gnat and j.j were each brought into the world without" AjD says, "knowledge of the other, yet their emotional frailties" AjD says, "and the forces of the world led to their meeting online." AjD says, "Does this represent to us hope for our future as symbols" AjD says, "of how mankind's works can serve to cross vast barriers" AjD says, "and bring together people, or does it invite the pity we" AjD says, "must shed on those too withdrawn to successfully seek" AjD says, "companionship in the arms of those within reach?" AjD says, "Let us now pause for mere milliseconds to not reflect" AjD says, "too much on these consequences." gooley sobs Tom claps^H^H^H^H^Hsobs vampyr has no reflection. Vacca dabs at watery eyes with a kleenex. AjD says, "Brother Solberg, He Whose Real Name Must Not Be Said Out" AjD says, "Loud yet may be typed freely, please deliver the" AjD says, "homily." heehoo stands. heehoo says, "I must apologize in advance. I'm typing this manually." heehoo says, "I shall begin with a highly inappropriate reading from "The Black Stone" by Robert E. Howard." heehoo says, "'A monstrous, toad-like thing squatted on top of the monolith.'" Michele looks at gnat more closely. heehoo says, "'I saw its bloated, repulsive and unstable outline against the moonlight.'" gooley thinks of himself strych9 thinks of the Internet j.j quietly passes a bottle of peppermint schnapps around the wedding party. heehoo says, "'Set in what would have been the face of a natural creature, its huge, blinking eyes reflected all the lust, abysmal greed, obscene cruelty and monstrou evil" pater pukes Vacca thinks of the New Hampshire primary. heehoo says, "'that has stalked the sons of men since their ancestors moved hairless in the treetops.'" AjD thinks of tax collectors. heehoo says, "'In those grisly eyes were mirrored all the unholy things and vile secrets that sleep in the cities under the sea.'" gooley thinks of Rogaine d. says, "hush now." heehoo says, "'And so that ghastly thing that the unhallowed ritual and sadism and blood had evoked from the silence of the hills...'" heehoo says, "'...leered and blined down on its bestial worshippers, who grovelled in abhorrent abasement before it.'" AjD hands j.j a swig of tequila. heehoo says, "'Now the beast-masked priest lifted the bound and weakly writhing girl in his brutish hands and held her up toward that horror on the monolith." Michele says, "wait, that' supposed to be vampyr." heehoo says, "'And as that monstrosity sucked in its breath, lustfully and slobberingly, something snapped in my brain....'" digger blinks heehoo AHEM heehoo says, "Friends, what is the nature of marriage?" heehoo says, "Is it a compact between two loving and self-willed persons," j.j and gnat cheer wildly! heehoo says, "and unshakeable pact and firm symbol of the esteem and commitment that composes the bonds between two souls?" heehoo says, "Or is it a dark and sinister accord with eldritch forces," gnat and j.j cheer even more wildly! heehoo says, "vowing terrible vows and paying unspeakable costs for knowledge beyond the ken of Man?" heehoo says, "You may consider this a facetious question." heehoo says, "You may reconsider, though, when times get tough." heehoo says, "Love can sometimes be a casualty of the difficulties we all encounter in life," heehoo says, "and there may be moments in the future when, for whatever reason, you find yourself questioning the wisdom of marrying your partner." heehoo says, "Make no mistake, you undoubtedly have a great many happy times ahead;" heehoo says, "however, the strength of a marriage is measured," heehoo says, "not by its quality during the days of wine and roses," Tom says, "but by its coefficient of friction." heehoo says, "but by its endurance through the bitterly cold nights of a post-apocalyptic nuclear winter." AjD cries! gnat throws an ice cube at tom. heehoo says, "I regret mentioning such dark thoughts at such a joyous occasion," vampyr nudges michele. "is /that/ what sex is like?" heehoo says, "but it is important to dispel a common illusion held by young couples:" gooley realizes that he doesn't know heehoo says, "Marriage is NEVER easy." heehoo says, "You must work," d. says, "hush now. babble at your own wedding." heehoo says, "and work HARD," j.j whispers at gnat, "who's he calling YOUNG?" heehoo says, "in the years to come if you wish to perserve this beautiful, important union that you are forging today." heehoo says, "Here are some things you must do:" AjD gives d. some tequila. "it's good!" richter takes notes heehoo says, "* Love each other. Do not stop doing this. Ever." heehoo says, "* Take time to be together. Is something preventing this? KILL IT" heehoo says, "* Respect each other. Mere love is not sufficient." Michele kills Tom's computer. heehoo says, "* Listen to each other. Now and forever, you are both teacher and student." heehoo says, "* Support each other. Stand back-to-back during firefights." heehoo says, "I urge you --" pirich quietly seats himself while muttering about telnet heehoo says, "I challenge you --" heehoo says, "I DOUBLE DOG DARE you --" heehoo says, "to do these things," jkcohen weeps. heehoo says, "and do them well." heehoo says, "If you do, your marriage will take on a steely strength of its own," brett prays silently gooley sobs heehoo says, "that will support you when both of you, as individuals, are feeling weak." Vacca cries quietly at the keyboard. heehoo says, "And when whatever hideously diabolical toad-creatures that life has to offer finally spring forth upon you," heehoo says, "seeking to devour your flesh," jkcohen wonders if heehoo means kids. heehoo says, "you may find that the love you hold for your partner will bolster your sanity and drag you back from the stark howling pits of insanity." heehoo raises his glass pirich kicks jk heehoo says, "Nat and jenine, I wish you a long and happy union." j.j cries openly richter dabs her eyes. fuck. that was beautiful heehoo sits kate whistles raucously. yay heehoo! miyume sighs wistfully waider applauds gooley bewails his virginity Vacca breaks into applause after a stunned silence. miyume smiles jkcohen applauds wildly. brett applauds AjD stands up again. "That was beautiful, babe." vampyr cheers! "yay!" jules grins. edg says, "amen"" inkster bawls. M. applauds. strych9 smiles. troc says, "Woo-woo!" anthony cheers! becca claps jules says, "Testify, Brother heehoo!" Sai relays: amyl smiles pirich says, "I need the transcript of that" jfw says, "amen indeed!"" jsam smiles, slightly awkwardly. Tom propositions gooley. gooley is overawed Sai relays: dean grins Sai relays: tommy smiles squirty yay! ninj applaudes Sai relays: sue thinks this is a really unique ceremony :) jkcohen picks himself off the floor and cheers. M. laughs at pirich. "how many copies?" gooley sighs miyume prepositions gooley j.j taps her foot impatiently. kevin_s says, "everyone mail pirich!" Michele puts down her hankie and smiles. gooley positions himself AjD says, "heehoo will be doing five shows a week at Klortho's for the next few weeks. I suggest everybody check him out!" j.j says, "i'm gettin' dizzy here." becca postpostions gooley troc holds up a lighter! jkcohen wonders about the vows. inkster blows his nose in the ruffles. You paged AjD: ok, ready to finish this? brett postmoderns Gooley vampyr tackles the chapel collectively. "HEY! we have a WEDDIN' to do!" AjD says, "Okay, now. if we can have a moment's silence, PLeASE!" Vacca says, "No sex until after the benediction, people." gnat makes audible "ssssh" noises. Sai relays: tommy offers his sleve to sue miyume their presence indicated consent. miyume says, "oops" Sai relays: amyl goes out and murders all the people that came in and phoned during the ceremony Sai relays: sue sniffles on Tommy's sleeve AjD says, "gnat and j.j, please step forward to the altar now?" j.j and gnat step forward. AjD says, "Right..." AjD says, "We will now begin the exchange of vows." AjD says, "gnat, do you swear to serve as j.j's One True Love, to" AjD says, "love, honor, and obey, and especially obey?" gnat says, "I do." AjD says, "j.j, do you swear to serve as gnat's One True Love and" AjD says, "bed partner, with all this implies?" j.j says, "oh yes i DO." AjD says, "gnat, do you swear to perform your duties as j.j's" AjD says, "househusband for as long as you can stand to?" digger sighs gnat says, "I do. Oh god." j.j snickers. AjD says, "j.j, do you swear to love gnat in all carnal and" AjD says, "spiritual ways for as long as you can bear to?" Tom bears gnat. Alfvaen gives HWRNMNBSOL the thumbs-up. j.j checks her watch, "i do!" AjD says, "If anybody has any reasons for objecting to this" AjD says, "marriage on any grounds, speak out loud and vigorously." heehoo says, "I met gnat and j.j both, and they really ARE cabbages!" jkcohen holds his peace. strych9 kicks heehoo in the teeth. Tom holds jkcohen's piece. Vacca glares at anyone who even THINKS about opening their mouth. vampyr holds jkc's piece. squirty says, "cabbages can SO marry" Michele hold Tom's piece. gooley says, "I still lust in my heart after j.j ...oh, heck, she IS my Mom after all, so never mind" kate murmurs "mes petits choux" fred readies his blackjack. AjD hands strych9 some tequila. "It's Padron, man. You made me a convert!" gnat says, "so far there's nothing that will hold up in court - move on, my good man!" pirich says, "I think you should have said 'any defensible grounds.'" jsam holds his peace. AjD says, "shall we?" j.j nods. AjD says, "right. no valid complaints. y'all are WEAK, man." AjD says, "Anyway..." Tom says, "BUT NOTHING EXISTS!" AjD says, "let's continue with the vows." Tom says, "sorry. Existential angst held in abeyance" AjD says, "gnat, alternate between gazing deeply at j.j's breasts" AjD says, "and glancing at the screen, and repeat after me, filling" AjD says, "in the blank as necessary:" AjD says, "I, ___, promise to serve you in my capacity as your" AjD says, "aoteroan love slave and constant companion, come hell or" AjD says, "high water or threats from neighbors about the noise." gnat says, "I, Nat, promise to serve you in my capacity as your" Alfvaen lags. gnat says, "Aoteroan love slave and constant companion, come hell or" gnat says, "high water or threats from neighbors about the noise." AjD says, "great..." gnat thinks "If only EVERYONE could cut and paste their vows." AjD says, "j.j, lift your hands from gnat's crotch for long enough" AjD says, "to retype after me, staring at gnat whenever possible" AjD says, "and filling in the blank as necessary:" AjD says, "I, ___, promise to serve you as well as a modern"" AjD says, "American woman can, whether this be by sexual" AjD says, "satisfaction, spiritual succor, or high-altitude" AjD says, "cooking." j.j says, "I, j.j, promise to serve you as well as a modern"" j.j says, "American woman can, whether this be by sexual" j.j says, "satisfaction, spiritual succor, or high-altitude" j.j says, "cooking." Michele hangs in suspense. j.j kills and YANKS. "all hail emacs" richter hail waider amen to that AjD says, "beautiful." jules hail! ninj hails brett says, "Hail!" anthony hails emacs. strych9 hails emacs. Tom heals all wounds. thoth hails emacs. AjD says, "now, for the fun part." miyume hails vampyr M-x hail-mode waider . o O (bad call, j.j...) pirich hails j.j and Gnat jkcohen meta-X-hails emacs. AjD says, "well, the second-most-fun part." AjD says, "ahem..." AjD says, "Okay, now that we've gotten this far, it is time for j.j" AjD says, "and gnat to exchange rings. We'll have to take their" AjD says, "word that they actually have rings, of course." Vacca beams through the tears.who AjD says, "Since they're in their bedroom, though, they could've" AjD says, "just left the room to get more beer. Let's pause and" AjD says, "wait for them to tell what they're doing." jules supplies a velvet cushion with two virtual rings. gooley avoids math jokes fred holds aloft THE RING. troc says, "They're just tokens." fred hums "one ring to rule them all . . " gooley parses that jules says, "Uh, fred, two rings. One each?" fred hands the ring to gnat. digger grins waider is falling asleep at the keyboard. eek. AjD draws on the tequila while waiting. gooley pours more Laphroiag pirich says, "Well? Did they find each other's fingers, or what?" Michele hands waider some coffee. waider accepts the coffee sleepily. brett says, "That could be the delay, rich." pirich breaks out the 3 monts kate hmm. time to pop the cork on the mumm's... troc says, "I saw Stanley the elephant do this on TV. He snuck off-stage during an awards ceremony." AjD says, "almost..." Vacca is almost out of wine. Uh-oh. waider suspects they've gone off to do the cinsummation thing ALREADY. vampyr says, "no fingers? maybe they really /are/ cabbages." gooley remembers the story about the man given a ring by the Devil jsam cheers! AjD says, "i imagine they can't apply rings and type at the same time after all." smarry says, "augh late again." pirich says, "AjD- waht if they went on to the next part without us?" becca wonders how long it takes to put on a ring Vacca says, "If I can type one handed, they can too." strych9 wonders if the best man is RIGHT NOW fulfilling his one terrible duty. heehoo arches one eyebrow AjD says, "i haven't declared them married yet. they've gotta wait for that bit." corprew wants to know why Vacca is typing one-handed. AjD says, "eh?..." gooley worries about network failures pirich says, "You think that would stop j.j?" Vacca suspects that Gnat and j.j are not reading rec.arts.erotica, though.. inkster says, "how about that. they ran off and diddled prematurely." troc says, "Maybe they're piercing gnat first?" jkcohen feels that any diddling will have already been metaleptic. Vacca says, "Stop looking at me like that. I'm not reading it NOW." heehoo says, "Uh....uh.....okay, everybody: charades!" heehoo stalls AjD whispers, "are you two okay?" zvi says, "happy wedding everyone!" Michele says, "They *escaped*." troc says, "hi, zvi" gooley says, "how zvui it is!" brett says, "Three words. First word. Two syllables." rmk says, "there are no aardvarks in disneyland." waider calls on zvi for a poem while we wait kate says, "you can't elope in the middle of your own wedding." becca says, "happy wedding zvi. they've vanished" jkcohen did not have the time to write a proper epithalamion. gnat places the ring on j.j's finger, saying "this ring symbolises my committment to gratify your every desire, to stay with you through thick and thin regardless of the misery you put me through, and to anticipate your every need and whim with the aid of the psychic gifts you obviously expect me to have. troc says, "`Wedding`?" becca says, "the bride and groom that is" jules says, "Perhaps a few words from our sponser: Barry, like to tell an embarrassing gnat story to the folks?" inkster says, "Hey, what kind of wedding is this. I wan't my money back." gnat notes the machine crashed. COPE already. gooley did not have time to sqwipe onw from Donne AjD says, "HURRAH1" troc says, "Sh." Vacca says, "Hey... they're back! Places, people!" waider yay! We got a token crash! Vacca stops the bridge game. rmk says, "hello?" j.j says, "of COURSE the machine crashed. it had to, right?" AjD says, "heh. well, continue." Vacca nods vigorously. waider casts out daemons. j.j has a RING on her finger. continue, please. Michele notes that her plan worked! kristen thinks it would be neat if PLUG PLUG everyone here came back and wished her a happy birthday on saturday PLUG PLUG. zvi says, "it's like the cup at a jewish wedding... it has to crash, or there's no good luck!" Michele says, "Yay!" richter hi5s zvi jkcohen says, "Mazal tov!" becca says, "someone give j.j a ring to put on gnat's finger" Michele says, "Except that it was all put back together." brett says, "We're not done yet, kids." gooley says, "just a token ring?" thoth fails to find 'metaleptic' in the dictionary stevi hands the ring to j.j pater says, "they've pulled that "the machine crashed" thing for ages" jkcohen says, "Thoth, a/k/a hysteron proteron." AjD says, "Aw, shucks, yes. Why, when I was younger, we had to make excuses about running out of gas! They're modern kids, they are." j.j places the ring on nat's finger and says, "this ring symbolizes my promise to always be here for you whenever you need me. and i promise to do my best not to make your life a living hell, as happens so often when two perfectly happy people decide to ruin everything by getting married." troc says, "Hey, I wanna heah the ceremony." Alfvaen snows vi. You paged AjD: ok, we're all done HERE. *sheesh* AjD says, "Right. they've got the rings, I've got the last bit..." AjD says, "By the power vested in me by nerdsholm marriage law and" AjD says, "The Universal Life Church of Modesto, California, I" AjD says, "hereby pompously pronounce j.j and gnat to be shackled." AjD says, "gnat, you may now do the bride." Vacca cheers! waider throws rice over the happy couple! inkster says, "YAY!" troc throws rice over the happy couple! Michele throws rice! kate throws rice over the happy couple! gooley cries, as always at wedding waider opens a bottle of champagne with a loud *POP*. champagne bubbles out over the bottle and onto the floor. Michele throws rice over the happy couple! miyume yays! edg says, "hurrah!"" Tom throws rice over the happy couple! AjD takes a big draw on his tequila. becca throws cooked rice Sai relays: dean throws tea bags pirich launches a spread of rice ninj cheers Sai throws rice richter cheers and blows her nose. Vacca throws rice over the happy couple! jkcohen throws little hershey's kisses and rice krispies! zvi throws rice and cheers! squirty whoops and throws ferrets heehoo throws gin! ninj orders the confetti air-strike gooley drains a glass of Laphroaig kristen claps. anthony cheers RAUCOUSLY! jfw says, "Confuckinggratulations"" waider throws shamrocks! M. throws firecrackers! Sai relays: sue throws confetti jkcohen releases the pigeons! Sai relays dean: It was the only white things I have becca throws laphroaig stevi waits for the couple to come up for air. thoth throws rice over the happy couple! and curses MudDweller for not letting him cut and paste while the window is scrolling! jules shamalamas. pater says, "loud cheers from Ti Point" strych9 plays a Souza march on the trombone. anthony guzzles apple juice. jkcohen boggles at the immense suction! gooley throws throwing stars Sai relays: Sas throws rice pudding. waider [TROMBONE SOLO] d. says, "woohoo!" thoth joins strych9 on the trumpet vampyr's eyes well up, on NH and in RL. rmk says, "Happy Noo Yeer!!!!!!" zvi throws gooley throwing stars Sai relays: sue sniffles on Tommy's sleeve again troc throws dice! becca APPLAUDS WILDLY pirich says, "I expect we've seen the last communication forom them tonight- break out your booze!" heehoo throws up! he can't help it! smarry cheers! pater says, "Much better than the last one Nat" smarry says, "not too late after all! Congratulations!" waider grins at pater Sai relays: matt reflects for a moment for the cleaners Vacca breaks into a medley of "Bon Jovi" favorites! fred and Stevi examine the wedding license. It looks legal. heehoo says, "On the organ? WOW." ninj me congrats te happy couple jkcohen weeps with joy for gnat and j.j. Tom yells, "reception to follow in the bar, south twice." waider notes that the Bells of Shandon are ringing AS WE SEPAK! jules shakes hands with Pater. "Just the little one to go, now, eh?" becca tosses a piece of Really Fine Pegmatite to gooley vampyr throws rice, pez, and damn well anything the happy couple wants. d. says, "may I remind the congregation that there will be a dark pagan rite later to determine the happy couples future" fred also notes the laser printer to his left, and wonders . . . jkcohen congratulates heehoo and Art on jobs well done. gooley sings "Ich suchte sdes Nachts" by Buxtehude --both partts at once strych9 says, "waider: that is so cool." brett throws croutons and dirty GIFS jkcohen descants with gooley. Sai relays: tommy congratulates sincerely the happies couple in the cyberspace zvi shatters several glasses pater says, "The little one is beside me, pondering..." smarry coughs up a little burst of fireworks. gooley picks out topazes rmk says, "although pater is here, I'm still the old guy, and I wish J.J and Gnat all the best...." ninj me congrats the families of the bride and groom who happen to be present jkcohen says, "Hava negilah, hava negilah..." waider decartes gooley and jkc jules says, "Hi Bree!" Vacca says, "Have two, they're small." troc taps gnat's shoulder with his fist. "You're a lucky guy." miyume giggles Michele tosses gnat into a chair and rounds up all the men to pick him up! Alfvaen lags _badly_. jkcohen lifts one edge of the chair. edg swarms all over the chapel, congratulating everyone in sight d. claps vampyr on the shoulder. "Don't be worried, son. It will be painless. Have a valium." gooley stumbles jules lifts another edge of the chair. waider grabs a leg vampyr grabs the seat! jkcohen hugs edg! anthony flings blossoms at the newlyweds. ninj lifts another end of the chair zvi lifts the other edge Sai relays tommy: Can we like kiss the bride already or what? Tom holds up another corner. Sai relays: matt bags first dibs on the bride vampyr pops a pill and feels a bit woozy soon thereafter. Tom starts whirling gnat around the room! jkcohen triggers the release of bouncy balls, then regains his grip on the chair. miyume claps enthusiastically! rmk says, "If this is Tuesday, it must be Belgium." AjD has a little more tequila. inkster takes the opportunity to kiss the bride (slipping in a little toung.) corprew picks up a corner of the chair! Sai relays: sue hugs nat and jj gooley kisses the bride's ankle smarry says, "looks like my compulsive reading of gnat's web pages was a good idea." jkcohen and ninj and waider and vampy and tom twirl gnat around the room! zvi congratulates AjD d. kisses the bride chastely (who'd have thought?) strych9 says, "ajd: Yo lemme at that tequila." Michele grabs all the women and gets them to start a circle around the chair! Tom says, "hava newmodem, hava newmodem, hava newmodem, v.42bis!" waider hugs j.j and gnat pater says, "thats the girly stuff - where's the bar" Sai relays: sue wonders when jj is going to throw the bouquet troc hits on miyume. pater ate it edg kisses the bride. Hell, he kisses the groom, too. Anyone else within reach? becca grabs michele's hand and starts to dance miyume gasps! kristen gives j.j wanton squishies! rmk says, "and who brought the paint thinner?" gooley decides not to try to cathch the bouquet inkster hugs nathan hard. Sai relays dean: pater: good call - lead the way thoth chugs the paint thinner vampyr bumfondles the groom! Michele and becca, embarrassingly, are the only two people trying to dance around the spinning gnat. jkcohen scoots to the bar. He's got catering! AjD says, "Have some tequila, James. I couldn't decide between the silver and the gold, so i got the silver. Damn this is good stuff, s9!" gooley takes out another gallon of paint thinner Sai relays: tommy hugs Nathan in that friendly polish fashion ninj hugs j.j, then rushes back to hold up gnat's chair squirty bumfondles both o' da newlyweds. Vacca returns, the blood of the person who TRIPPED OVER THE DAMN CORD and UNPLUGGED THE MACHINE on his hands. jkcohen, in the bar, sets out capacious tables filled with bagels (poppy seed, sesame, garlic, onion, and plain), lox (nova scotia and belly lox), sable (a smoked fish), about twenty whitefish, cream cheese with chives, cream cheese without chives, vegetable cream cheese, salmon mousse, bermuda onion slices, tomato slices, dark Greek olives, Provencal cracked olives... brett rolls up his sleeves in preparation for the Garter Toss. d. says, "ajd: are we ready for the pagan rite?" miyume whispers, "Yay!! *smoooch!* :)" kate and kristen photograph the hell out of everybody. smile! AjD says, "OKAY. LET'S WE ALL HEAD SOUTH TO KLORTHO'S, WHERE THE RECEPTION ORGY TAKES PLACE." vampyr says, "can someone grab gnat? the valium is kicking in." Vacca doesn't *do* smiles. Tom says, "GARLIC BAGELS! GANGWAY!!!!!!!!!!!" jkcohen, in the bar, sets out more tables with rye bread, sour cream, blintzes (blueberry kristen laughs. and videotape! I've gota videocamera, at themoment. Tom yells, "SOUTH TWICE PEOPLE" anthony pats gnat on the back. jules would like to marry jkcohen based on his choice of food. heehoo pages: many congratulations. strych9 says, "'orgy?' This *is* a Discordian wedding. I wish someone would have told me." zvi would also like to marry jcohen for other reasons. troc says, "I'll stay away from the salmon mousse." d. LEAVES LOUDLY, MAKING AN EXAMPLE. Michele gets run over by Tom as he runs to the bar! anthony pats j.j on the back. Vacca grabs a bagel. Sai relays dean: jules: just make sure I get an invite to the reception =) AjD goes south. smarry twigs softly, following d.'s example. AjD has left. heehoo says, "If any of the real bridal party are still present: give my regards to the married couple. May you grow together like two twined branches." digger blinks j.j says, "YIKES." richter blinks j.j says, "major 'puter problems. we're back now." j.j says, "the champagne is open and we're getting FESTIVE." richter says, "yes!!!!" j.j says, "to the bar!" digger cartwheels to te bar! waider pages: Good Luck! Alfvaen is still lagging. >s Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, tapaboy, j.j Klortho's Bar Welcome to Klortho's. A squid is cheating at cards in a corner, while the bouncer plays piano. A sign over a door to the north reads "Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium." Contents: TTT.BTT, Invitation, saint.bob, vat.bob postponed, Lock's new email address, Tom, squirty, gooley, thoth, kate, kristen, brett, becca, zvi, vampyr, corprew, troc, jfw, Michele, miyume, AjD, Sai, smarry, rmk, inkster, ninj, kevin_s, jules, pirich, M., adams, anthony, edg, strych9, richter, gnat, j.j squirty SMOOCHES gnat. congrats, you j.j-bumfondler-you miyume cheers for the bride! Sai hugs j.j ninj wonders where the bride got to brett releases gnat to go fondle j.j zvi says, "" vampyr huggles j.j! anthony bows to j.j Sai relays: sue rushes over to hug j.j AjD bumfondles the bride! squirty molests j.j in the corner oo hi bret too ninj cheers for the bride zvi says, "All rise! The bride!!"" Sai relays: amyl hugs jj gooley has mizxed feelings ninj says, "yay! it's j.j!" pirich offers trappist beer to the bride and groom thoth feels meta as he reads t.b in the other window adams rises the bride. Tom yells, "if you haven't signed the guest book yet, please go north (of the bar) to the antechamber and type 'look guest'" vampyr giggles. he's reading t.b, too. j.j says, "I'm a married lady! Oh fuck!" inkster bangs his glass. a kiss! becca exits to the chapel. gnat toasts AjD and heehoo, who deserve to bask in the glory of their success. zvi pages: congrats!!! how wonderful! adams nails the groom to a cross and sings hava nagila. inkster says, "a kiss!" vampyr cheers j.j! "and fuck you shall!" miyume still smooches j.j strych9 says, "Now you've done it." Sai relays amyl: Barry, you still there? Sai relays: Sas hugs the previously unmet j.j gnat says, "Amy: he's logged off, from the look of it." becca has arrived. gooley exits to the chapel. adams exits to the chapel. anthony notes that Pater exited, saying something about a bouquet. becca exits to the chapel. anthony exits to the chapel. anthony has arrived. M. exits to the chapel. Tom yells, "chapel time again" Tom exits to the chapel. corprew exits to the chapel. kate hmm. who's M.? squirty must take her leave, happily-married-soon-to-be-boinking couple, and sleeeeep. thoth exits to the chapel. rmk says, "the choad is in the lutish." ninj exits to the chapel. zvi exits to the chapel. miyume exits to the chapel. kristen exits to the chapel. kate says, "'night, squirty!" brett exits to the chapel. smarry exits to the chapel. squirty says, "nightnight. *hugs*" AjD waves to squirty! kate exits to the chapel. fred has arrived. jfw exits to the chapel. fred exits to the chapel. anthony exits to the chapel. inkster says, "bye spuirty" Sai exits to the chapel. AjD exits to the chapel. vampyr exits to the chapel. inkster exits to the chapel. edg exits to the chapel. M. has arrived. Tom yells, "er, to the vestibule. Sign the guestbook if you haven't already." fred has arrived. squirty goes home. Tom yells, "guestbook command (in vestibule): sign guest = whatever whatever whatever" troc has disconnected. troc goes home. AjD has arrived. fred exits to the chapel. edg has arrived. gooley has arrived. Sai has arrived. AjD says, "actually, if you've already signed the guestbook, you needn't do it twice." Sai exits to the chapel. ninj has arrived. anthony has arrived. fred has arrived. corprew has arrived. thoth has arrived. kate has arrived. miyume has arrived. ninj gives j.j a kiss inkster has arrived. kate is CONFOOZED anthony is swept along by the crowd. j.j says, "Anyone for cake?" becca has arrived. gooley gazes meaninglessly at kate AjD says, "yum! cake1" anthony slavers for cake. smarry has arrived. vampyr has arrived. miyume says, "Yummy! Cake!" troc has arrived. fred says, "Nat's playing the banjo." thoth bids all farewell AjD wants choco cake with LOTS of frosting1 adams has arrived. fred says, "He's got a special wedding song he's prepared." Tom has arrived. becca says, "bye-bye ben!" Tom says, "WHOO!" smarry stealthily consumes a shot glass. troc says, "Goodnight!" AjD isn't surprised that gnat will be diddling on his wedding night. j.j says, "We have choco cake with lots of frosting!" zvi has arrived. thoth exits to the chapel. smarry says, "song! yay!" Tom says, "excuse me. I have had many beers, I am eating chocolate cake with jam frosting, and the wedding didn't crash the mud. Life is GOOD." becca eats frosting gooley gfeels a sense of loss edg says, "and if THIS didn't crash the MUD, *nothing* will." AjD says, "three cheers for Tom, who created this world from scratch FOUR DAYS AGO!" M. congratulates Tom on the perversity of a PerlMUD. j.j says, "No smoosh. Take a bite . . ." ninj cheers tom anthony CHEERS Tom! zvi huzzahs wildly inkster says, "wtg tom!" gnat takes a bite of cake. vampyr laudanums tom. troc says, "Two more days and Tom's allowed to slack off for a day. It's tradition." smarry says, "PerlMUD WINS" adams says, "tom finished two days faster than jehovah." j.j and gnat feed each other cake, smoosh free. fred says, "Did he say Jehovah?" edg says, "AND tom did a better job." vampyr says, "but yhwh included @emit, so..." becca thwaps vampyr gnat and jj groan. gooley sings, "At tu Iehovah, clypeus est circa me... rmk says, "I'm still hoping for @floormat." smarry says, "Tom is Yod Hay Vav Hay O kay!" Tom relays Jen: "Adams: you always DID have a GOD COMPLEX." vampyr ends up unconscious on the floor, again. miyume tries desperately to revive vampyr becca puts smelling salts under vampyr's nose fred is amazed the computer hasn't crashed recently. rmk says, "beans." j.j says, "Hey, Sarah never showed up!" strych9 sings happily. gooley is amazed that his ISP hasn't gone donwn during this kristen has arrived. j.j and gnat are munching cake. vampyr mumbles, "let me sleep... don't wanna be eviscerated." anthony is pleased that MCI hasn't gone into routeflap. ninj grabs some cake becca sings kristen says, "is THAT wahat they're calling it these days>" Alfvaen has arrived. AjD wonders wtf d. went off to. anthony notes that vampyr's belly is looking nice and round. j.j says, "d., that's your cue!" Sai has arrived. becca had better go home, while she can still drive Sai relays Sas: Gotta go work, bye all. j.j just answered the phone . . . troc had brief ISP trouble, but it could have been worse. gooley sings "Ich will auch mit gebroch'nen AUgen" from BWV 125 becca congratulates gnat and j.j profusely troc says, "Later, sas!" inkster says, "bye sas." Alfvaen says, "I missed a lot of that, but I'm sure it'll be a lovely ceremony when I read it later." j.j says, "Bye! Thanks for coming!" zvi wipes a tear from his eye, toasts the bride and groom, and says a fond farewell. gnat burps. becca waves and congratulates Alfvaen has a mental image of a toasted bride and groom. becca tosses gooley a parting pegmatite becca has disconnected. becca goes home. Sai relays matt: Alfvaen: with doctored formatting gooley fields it and gives thansks fred is trying to accurately describe RL actions in real-time. miyume whispers, "this was the coolest online wedding. *hug* and good fortune to you both!" zvi has disconnected. zvi goes home. gnat switches over to . . . Mom? fred says, "Evidently it's family night tonight." gooley stares into space anthony says, "gnat: you're channelling your Mom?" fred says, "My god, it's full of . . cars?" edg needs to get back to RL... edg says, "congrats, guys. good luck!" Tom says, "congrats, gnat and j.j." gooley decides that looking forlorn is just getting him ignored, as in real life j.j says, "Thanks! " Tom's drunken euphoria begins to transmute into drunken s Alfvaen goes to put in another load of laundry. AjD says, "congrats, j.j!" Alfvaen gives gooley some lorn so he won't have to look for it. kate says, "did heehoo sneak out right after the service?" gooley says, "well, maybe I'd beetrtter go." fred doesn't think the peppermint schnapps hurt things a bit. smarry returns with a dampish load of laundry and $1.25 in change, oops. Alfvaen shakes gooley's hand warmly and wishes him the best. gooley says, "congratulations to hthe happy couple." gnat smoochies gooley! M. bows to gooley. troc says, "You can't go until after the conga." edg sits Goolkey back down and hands him a stout. "Here. Drink this." gnat says, "thanks for showing up, man. Much appreciated." smarry says, "glad you could make it, gooley." troc waves anyway. adams says, "I think I should take my leave to. I'm still sheepish about getting the time wrong and turning up late. sorry I missed the ceremony." kate tiptoes out to make some supper. gnat says, "adams: look for a web page soon." gnat grins. anthony shakes Gooley's hand. gooley says, "thanks...only for my Virtual Mom here..." inkster waxes mooshy. "I don't know you that well, but the way you two got here is so... romantic. That's living." adams says, "yay! gif gif! script script!" inkster wanes mooshy. vampyr says, "d. has asked me to inform you that his firewall has, in fact, died and he will not be able to attend the rest of the ceremonies. he sends his best and will gladly perform the haruspex at a time befitting the happy and assuredly well-fated couple." edg waves again. Sai relays amyl: "please do not hesitate to contact me if there is anything you wish to discuss regards amy gale netlink"...there, fax is WRITTEN, time to party edg has left. gnat says, "thanks too to the guys in New Zealand, especially Sai. Without you, the attendance would have been all American and I wouldn't have been able to see ANYONE spell 'colour' with a 'u'." gooley wonders what the future will bring now that he has a Virtual Dad, or at lest Stepdad miyume waves to edg, but she's too late Alfvaen colours briefly. AjD says, "step-siblings?" Sai says, "gnat: pleasure..." gooley couolours his colouring book AjD changes cououlouours troc says, "In it Colourado?" gnat is dragged back to real life to talk to the new 'step-mom'. Yay! jules whispers, "Congratulations. Look after him *grin*." d. has arrived. Sai relays matt: gnat: likewise adams says gououd night. Alfvaen says, "Conquered the firewall?" d. says, "yeehaw! made a liar out of vampyr!" AjD says, "hurrah! d. has returned!" vampyr tackles d.! "yay!" Tom says, "gouraud shading" d. says, "booted my mud off its dedicated line" rmk says, "here there be flagons." smarry flies up and perches on vampyr's nose. vampyr rips off his tux and stands naked. corprew mocks d.'s firewall. d. says, "firewall go bye bye" anthony offers to prep vampyr. lessee, betadine, drapes... adams has disconnected. adams goes home. smarry hastily debarks from vampyr. d. says, "right now there's a gaggle of mudders going "what the hell!"" vampyr yawns and feels googally google. "good pills, d.." gnat logs off to read news. gnat says, "just kidding!" Sai relays amyl: what! miyume gasps! Tom says, "whee!" ninj swoons d. says, "Ok everyone. I am going to perform an augury in a moment." AjD ties gnat to a chair. AjD says, "j.j asked me to!" miyume catches ninj Sai relays: amyl looks disgusted d. says, "this will entail entrails, yet I will attempt to remain tasteful" gnat says, "jenine is mocking the Eastern European high-fashion Czechoslovakian shoes her birth dad sent her. Her momma is very syumpathetic." rmk says, "amyl, the Queen of Nitrate?" ninj recovers in miyume's arms Sai relays amyl: more like amyl, the dropout chemist d. pulls a black altar and a sacrificial fire from NOWHERE. Wow! gnat does a happy dance of betrothal and hitchedness. vampyr seepy go lie altar sit now. Alfvaen says, "Don't forget espousal." Michele mocks Tom's pronunciation of 'entrails' troc wonders if d. floats. gnat notes j.j has moved to scorning the latest pregnancy of her step-mom that she hardly ever sees to her birth-mom. Michele throws vampyr on the altar! gooley says, "happy entrails to you..." d. says, "Vampyr, aka Eamon aka "Osteocephalitic Boy' has graciously donated his entrails to the happy couple." gnat says, "mmm, entrails." vampyr says, "entrees. hee. i have fingers." gooley says, "not ladyfingers?" AjD says, "finger food!" gnat is reminded to order Chinese. Alfvaen is forestalled by gooley only nanoseconds before he hits return. anthony warms up the wok. Tripe ooh yumm. AjD says, "toe jam!" gooley says, "they gotta billion of em" ninj says, "gnat: ready and waiting" AjD says, "PATE!" Michele sez, "AHHN-traels." gnat's attention is grabbed by j.j's saying "gnat and I fart all we want" to her Mom. Oooookay. d. strip vampyr naked with a few quick flourishes. "Woo Woo" float up from the crowd. gnat says, "ninj: are you delivered?" gooley says, "it came into many a burgher's pate..." AjD says, "woo woo!" vampyr says, "hee tickle nekkid tummy look NARF!" d. says, "fingers faster than keyboard. must. cope." anthony takes peectures squid woowoos! squid name me = Tom troc floats one. "Woo woo!" ninj says, "gnat: yes, but it takes a while" Michele giggles. corprew mocks Tom d. bends vampyr down out of sight behind the altar, securing him with bindings. Tom says, "sigh" d. says, "Dearly Beloved," gnat is finally dragged off to talk to the new mom. d. says, "and derrick if he is present," Tom is not sober just now. gnat says, "I lied." Sai relays: amyl bets gnat has never eaten an entrail in his life Michele tosses d. a boning knife. Sai has disconnected. Sai goes home. jsam has arrived. Alfvaen gives d. a coping saw in case he needs it. d. says, "we are gathered now to receive the gods' gift of knowledge and foresight." gnat says, "amy: fried, with lots of butter and some garlic. Mmmmm." vampyr says, "beloved doughnut gift foreskin." Alfvaen read that as 'foreskin' at first. gooley says, "can you cope now?" gnat has become a garlic fiend el supremo. jules says, "whups. Sai got kicked off IRC for excess flood." Sai has arrived. d. says, "and blah blah speech speech blah. time for the knife!" vampyr paws at his numb face. d. draws a wicked obsidian blade. Go "aaaaaaaaaah!" please. troc says, "Yay, Sam!" Michele aaaaaaaaaah. vampyr says, "knife. ahhhhhhh." Sai says, "*mumble*" AjD says, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" anthony says, "eeeeh!"" troc gasps, "Ooooh!" gnat says, "hehe, she's threatening her brother with bodily harm. Her mother is cautioning her that he's bigger than she is. Jenine is vowing to pursue this reckless intent anyway ..." gooley says, "ting walla ewalla...oh, never mind" d. pulls vampyr's head up from behind the altar. You can only see the back of his head. M. says, "aaaaaaaaaah!" Michele saves vampyr at the last minute! Alfvaen says, "Aaaaaaaah." d. makes a swift cutting gesture, and blood begins flowing down the altar's grooves intot he sacrificial fire. HISSSS! troc says, "Wait! I can explain!" anthony hums "we knew there'd be blood on the sands pretty soon..." Sai relays: amyl opens the door...gnat, there's an accordion player out here, says you hired him for entertainment? vampyr girgles. Michele snips the tethers holding vampyr to the altar and replaces him with six pound of potatoes! j.j returns! AjD says, "no fair hoarding all the vampyr, michele! you'll get bits you want later!" smarry AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa d. annoints the couple's foreheads with a bloody smudge. j.j says, "my momma just called!" j.j says, "we need to get FOOD." Michele was too late! She's covered with blood! vampyr's bloody corpse is dragged through NH by michele. d. says, "Gods, receive this sacrifice of love and friendship!" Michele puts the vampyr bits in a basket and distributes him to all. corp says, "holy blood, holy grail (tm)" d. beheads vampyr with his sharp knife and tosses the head in the fire. gooley says, "no...no thanks you" Michele says, "Put this under your pillow, and whoever you dream of tonight is the person you'll marry." ninj says, "holy cow" rmk says, "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!!!" anthony says, "In a suprise late showing, vampyr's bloody corpse comes in first in the Republican primary!"" j.j says, "jesus, are we still in the human sacrifice phase? you guys should have been done with that HOURS ago." Alfvaen says, "What if you're already married?" Michele injects some Southern Ontario wedding tradition into the sacrifices session. M. formally congratulates the happy couple. d. pulls the body up by the scruff of what's left of the neck, and disembowels it skillfully. entrails spill over the altar top j.j says, "i'm MARRIED! aie!" AjD says, "you weren't even married a couple hours ago, j.j..." Alfvaen cries over spilled entrails. d. studies the entrails carefully, casually tossing the body into the fire. Sai says, "Pretty scarey..." Sai relays: amyl queues to dance with the bride gooley says, "is Colorado divorce law similar?" strych9 says, "This is all pretty amusing and sacred and all, but I really shouldn't stay any longer. I have a date. Okay with you, gnat and j.j, if I bail out now?" d. says, "the gods' message is clear." vampyr burns. and hisses. and pops. eww. AjD forgives strych9 d. says, "I see strength and fortitude." gooley muses that he can never use such an excuse as "having a date" Michele says, "Yay!" kevin_s says, "Make my vampyr medium-rare, please." troc says, "Night, s9" Michele says, "strength! fortitude!" Alfvaen says, "Have a fig, instead." rmk says, "don't mix vinegar with cat litter." strych9 misjudged how long the ceremony would take. d. says, "the gods bless this marriage with the strength of nature. j.j and gnat will weather all obstacles in their path." kevin_s says, "Happy Buchanans to you, S9." anthony waves at strick. gooley says, "figs make me fart" j.j says, "bye, james!" gooley farts loudly j.j says, "thanks for coming!" d. says, "beware the green monkey. he barks at midnight." j.j smoooooches s9. Tom says, "night, s9." strych9 ohmigods. M. waves to strych9 miyume wilts in the corner d. says, "do not consort with alt.spam." j.j lingers too long over that kiss. no more booze for her. strych9 says, "Bye all. It's been a blast." Alfvaen waves to strych9. strych9 is outa here. smarry @emit THE POPE WILL JOIN THE SWISS LUGE TEAM d. says, "and buy ibm at 140.15" strych9 goes home. vampyr's ghost hopes his corpse was worth more than just a little strength and fortitude. "that's what jaggermeister is for." gooley waves Michele waves. d. removes the entrails, getting his nice black robe bloody. brett has arrived. d. says, "and now for the finale:" gooley loses his composure...the tears flow down his cheeks troc says, "Shush, v., you're dead." brett says, "AAAAUUUUUUGGGHH!!!!" Michele says, "brett, you missed the human sacrifice." Michele says, "The augury was good." AjD says, "damn, this tequila is fine stuff. may i have seconds? why yes, i certainly may. [clink]" rmk says, "and the tossed salad." kevin_s looks for gooley's composure. Michele says, "So was the vampyr roast. [hic]" d. kicks the altar soundly. A false panel pops open in front, revealing an unharmed vampyr! It was a fake sacrifice, made of Soylent Clear! brett says, "I got a phone call. A call I didn't want. Damn me to hell and back for leaving call forwarding on." vampyr says, "ta da!" Michele cheers! Alfvaen says, "My encyclopedia, oddly enough, says that 'strychnine' rhymes with 'machine'." gooley is annoyed by the salty taste of his Laphroaig smarry phew. d. says, "ha ha! call me david copperballs!" M. applauds. kate hmm. folks married at a bob, folks married on the mud, what's next? vampyr doe a kick-step-shuffle-shuffle-slide-step-click! jsam tunnels Hot Australian Air towards anyone who needs it. Michele gets married in the space shuttle. anthony cheers! His voice is only slightly muffled by a mouthful of tripe. Mmm, tripe. Sai relays matt: kate: alphaworld Michele says, "Oh, wait, we already got married." miyume blinks at jsam M. notes the huge advantages inherent in online prognostication. ninj says, "kate: folks married in a normal setting?" smarry directs HAA at incompletely dryered laundry. gooley thinks that vows of celibacy on th ee Web come next kevin_s says, "kate, folks married on the mud at a bob." Alfvaen says, "Folks married on the newsgroup?" j.j says, "who the fuck is M.?" d. says, "M. Nechiverri!" d. says, "(sp)" j.j apologizes. she's drunk. M. says, "M. d'Nereverri. haven't been around much of late." jsam, across the Pacific, says, "aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" gooley says, "ed meadows???" Sai relays matt: nice day for a web wedding j.j says, "ah, neriverri!" AjD gives M. a massive hug! j.j says, "gotcha." kevin_s says, "RDC?" d. had quesadillas with M. once... brett idles vampyr pledges his vow of celibacy! Michele says, "Candy-Colored Clown?" Alfvaen belatedly welcomes M. d'Nereverri, whom he did not recognize in his monographic disguise. Michele says, "Susan Solan?" fred says, "now that i've seen this mud wedding, i need to post to t.b" anthony says, "Say, where *IS* Ed?" kevin_s says, "Lisa, er, oops." Michele says, "I think Ed got bored." M. couldn't miss the occasion, though. "I mean, I missed HOTT.BOB, so..." AjD says, "ed had t go home." inkster pops off to free the phone line. M. hugs Ajd. inkster has disconnected. inkster goes home. Alfvaen should really go do that laundry, and besides his wife wants the computer. M. bows to d. "Yep. With lots of shop talk that went 'way, 'way over my head. heh." d. avaunts for a quick shower and to put this phone line back into its rightful use. Happy Marriage! vampyr says, "thanks for not gutting me, d.!" d. waves, and leaves. d. has disconnected. d. goes home. Alfvaen says, "Lets this be a warning to the j.jnats." j.j says, "rats, missed him." gooley is still weeping silently Sai relays matt: so know gnat is free to get shafted by american employers miyume comforts gooley kate says, "mark., this isn't good." j.j says, "alf: we ALREADY fight over the 'puter all the time." Sai says, "Must vanish, somebody is trying to send me a fax" gooley says, "ANyhow, all happiness. Farewell, Whateverspeed" Sai vanishes temporarily j.j says, "matt: true!" M. recommends a second phoneline. or ISDN. vampyr really did come to tears during the ceremony. "j.j and gnat, i'm so happy for you both. like sincerely. very." kate needs a 2nd phone line and she lives alone. sheesh. gooley has disconnected. gooley goes home. Sai relays: amyl bursts into tears again Sai relays matt: M: he does, he needs another j.j says, "rats! missed him again!" Alfvaen hopes that his quasi-employer gives him some money REAL SOON before she starts into a book full-time. miyume also must go. Blessings to j.j & gnat, nighty night to all. Alfvaen says, "'Night, miyu." miyume bows gracefully j.j says, "smoochies, miyu!" j.j says, "thanks for coming." miyume smooooches j.j one more time and winks to gnat M. meant j.j and gnat, actually, but it applies generally, one supposes. kate says, "bye miyu. let's see you soon!" pirich says, "Night, miyume" vampyr says, "and now that i'm whole, i'll take my leave. good luck to you both! and thanks again to ajd and heehoo and everyone else in the ceremony!" Alfvaen says, "She has a computer, but it's needed fixing for a year." miyume says, "j.j I wouldn't have missed it. " miyume smiles smarry says, "quasi-employers are such a chancy business." Tom eats a buttload of cake. vampyr has disconnected. vampyr goes home. miyume nods to kate Michele says, "And lo, there was much belching to be heard." jules says, "I need to do some work too. Congratulations to the happy couple." miyume says, "I promise I'll be back more..." Michele burps soundly. jules looks j.j in the eye and says "Look after him, hmmm?" j.j says, "bye, jules, thanks!" miyume winks to pirich, "Be good now. :p " smarry has to install SSH on a system, come to think. j.j says, "nat sends his regards, jules. thanks." Alfvaen says, "Beaucoup de felicitations." pirich grins at miyume jsam hugs j.j and gnat mistemporally. jules says, "j.j: Give him a hug for me, and ask him to do the same for you :-)." Alfvaen says, "Now I really must be going so I can read the ceremony." kate hic. too much champagne. whee! M. congratulates j.j and gnat again. "Have a long and happy marriage!" pirich says, "Anyone left who logged?" M. gotta go now... kate says, "i logged it." AjD pours more tequila. price doesn't seem so important right now. Alfvaen says, "Hope to meet some of you people someday..." Michele says, "Tom's been logging." pirich says, "Could you send me a copy of heehoo's speech?" Michele says, "Corp's been burping." miyume bows gracefully and departs Michele says, "I've been slouching." anthony's camcorder is still rolling. miyume has disconnected. miyume goes home. Tom drank three beers. He's fucked as drunk. M. goes home. Sai relays matt: I cant wait for the vernicular concise disco edition AjD says, "kate: somehow, i had deleted four lines of the service. i'll have to give 'em to you tomorrow. use 'em as a footnote." jules leaves before he gets beat up for using smilies. j.j says, "i logged." kate says, "sure." jules has left. kevin_s says, "pirich, check your mailbox." ninj says, "gnat: robert didn't believe you just got married" pirich logs in to check his mail troc says, "Live long and prosper, you two." j.j says, "we'll start working on the web page tomorrow." j.j says, "ninj: message relayed." Alfvaen waves to all assembled and makes a final wish of good fortune to the j.jnats. smarry says, "bye Alfvaen" fred says, "Fred Pullen here, friend of bride and groom." fred says, "They really did it. I have a certificate here, at least, which looks pretty official." kate waves to alf pirich says, "Thanks, kev!" fred says, "We'll scan it and put it on the web tomorrow." Alfvaen has disconnected. Alfvaen goes home. kevin_s says, "Ain't technology neat?" j.j says, "I married who? What was I thinking?" pirich says, "Nice, I say" j.j says, "Where's my champagne?" AjD says, "i married you, j.j!" AjD gives j.j some champagne AjD says, "heh. heh. a little minesterial humor there." rmk says, "Good luck J.J and Gnat - I have to go and herd the cats - goodnight everyone." kevin_s sticks a funnel in j.j's mouth. "Champagne time!" j.j says, "bye, rmk!" troc says, "Today is the first day of the rest of your marriage. Do good, okay?" rmk has disconnected. rmk goes home. j.j says, "Okay, we'll do good." fred says, "Use your marriage only for good, jj." Sai relays matt: yeah, break a leg oop kate heh troc kisses gnat's hand, shakes j.j's and makes like a hockey stick. fred says, "Okay, gang, she's going to throw the bouquet!" AjD says, "YAy!" fred says, "Single--or maybe just eligible--women stand over there!" kate looks dubious fred says, "Ready?" jsam watches. j.j throws the bouquet over her shoulder. heehoo has arrived. kate catches it. fred watches Stevi catch it with horror. anthony watches the bouquet whiz by heehoo's face. richter has disconnected. richter goes home. kate says, "hey, i have too much respect for the laws of physics to let it hover." Sai relays: matt ducks kate says, "heehoo!" fred says, "She threw it three times." heehoo says, "I'm a steamroller, babe@!" smarry . o O ( What about the garter? ) kate hands off the flowers to heehool heehoo says, "A churnin' urn of burning funk!" fred says, "There's no garter, though. Sorry guys." AjD says, "hey andy. you missed the haruspex' performance!" kate heh, the RL bridesmaid catches the RL flowers, and the VR one catches the virtual one. poifect! anthony says, "I can dig it! (ooh, wooh)" gnat says, "andy, thanks for the great speech. We all loved it, including my folks." heehoo says, "oh, bloddy great." AjD decides to play n.f.a.khan again. there's always room for fat singers. heehoo says, "hats off to you two and all!" AjD drinks more tequila. Tom says, "heehoo: your speech really was beautiful. Face it: you're a poet." Tom sets up heehoo as host of A BLASTED HEATH HOME COMPANION. heehoo says, "I'm a poet, and I need more Moet! nup, don't scan." kate says, "'i'm a scum and i need more Mumm'" smarry says, "Give me jolt until I bolt." gnat collapses in laughter at the blasted heath line. anthony says, "I'm full of cheer. Please, one more beer. Urp." AjD says, "heehoo makes a rhyme / he's scannin' alla' time / you don't need to guess it's him / 'cause he'll punch you on th' chin!" heehoo says, "Whoa, slight crisis; return imminent." pirich says, "Hey, nothing promises interesting times the way a blasted heath can." AjD says, "hi, sheehoo!" gnat and j.j leave to get food. Thanks for showing up y'all - "ok, love you, b'bye!" AjD says, "becomes one with the tequila" ninj waves AjD says, "bye, gnat and j.j!" kate throws confetti! Sai relays: gnat flees from the mud! Likkered! pirich says, "bye!" j.j ducks away too. anthony throws rose petals at the reverend! pater has arrived. fred says, "Oops, we're leaving now. Food and drink, and everything closes at nine in this burg." pirich says, "Well, it would seem that NH became more than Tom's digital living room." kate says, "hello, Mr. T., we're winding down somewhat..." Tom says, "pirich: well, yeah, I guess you're right about that." jsam says, "bye, coloradites!" fred says, "It's been . . virtual?" AjD says, "we're in tom's REFRIGERATOR!!" fred has disconnected. fred goes home. jsam says, "be confetti and gust." pirich laughs smarry says, "in some ways, mudding is like some descriptions I've read of the afterlife." Zed has arrived. j.j says, "ok, we're going for food now! " pater says, "anything left to drink?" AjD's wondering when michele is making more vegan choco pie! j.j smooch smooch smooches everybody smarry says, "bye j.j" heehoo waves Michele says, "Um, that was Tom's chocolate silk pie." AjD says, "bye, j.j! you were great!" j.j gives pater the leftover champagne and peppermint schnapps. anthony cheers the happy couple Tom says, "Art: come over and you can have some cake." kate says, "'and then i died and woke up on nerdsholm'" Michele says, "The cake today, though, was vegan." pirich says, "Augh! That's more than I've been kissed in the last year!" anthony says, "HIP HIP HOORAY" You paged heehoo: thank you SO MUCH. you're wonderful. Michele did the frosting. Jam out of a jar! pater says, "yum" AjD says, "oh yeah. yoou're the one with the bisquits. well, whichever. i want PIE!" Tom yells, "thank you all for coming!" AjD glws kate hefts a coco-cream pie thoughtfully Michele makes some bisquits and gravy for those still at the reception. You paged AjD: thank you SO MUCH. you were wonderful. Michele ducks! pirich says, "Well, it's time for me to go- I have class tomorrow" AjD ducks! Michele says, "missed me! thbbfft!" pirich waves good night j.j throws more kisses as she flies out the door! heehoo waves AjD pages: i'm crying now. pirich has disconnected. pirich goes home. AjD says, "that WAS a fucking first there, wasn't it." heehoo says, "Ayup." AjD says, "the third t.b wedding. wow." heehoo says, "well, good job there, preacher." AjD says, "wonderful speech, deacon." kate says, "third?" smarry says, "which was the first?" AjD says, "rdc and bonnie, then crisper and jade." Michele ahems. "Michele and Tom." heehoo says, "Hey, what about Tom and Michele?" kate says, "ah, rdc. but bonnie wasn't One of Us." anthony says, "Art, Andy: That was an amazing ceremony. I stand awed." heehoo says, "And merde and her ex?" AjD bonks himself n the head with a brick. he falls over. heehoo says, "Glad you liked it." ninj says, "who's next?" kate says, "yes, art, andy, lovely job you did." Michele mutters, "well, it's only Tom who runs the mud." smarry says, "five, good heavens." heehoo says, "Yeah, well, merde subsequently got divorced. The net count is at four." anthony says, "Tom, you *ARE* YHWH. Gnee!" inkster has arrived. jsam says, "I suspect there's fiction worth writing in that, kate." AjD founds the church of tom. smarry says, "the 'net' count, a-heh" inkster says, "rehi" pater has disconnected. pater goes home. kate says, "how do you mean, sam?" smarry is abruptly rendered two-dimensional by a swiftly descending anvil. jsam smooches pirich. Zed wakes up in time to miss the wedding party. "Dooh." Zed's phone rings. No doubt work-related. AIIIEEE! AjD says, "jv slept through the whole event. his loss." Sai returns Sai says, "Wow it didn't die while I was away." heehoo says, "Nah, but the party did." inkster says, "I guess the newlyweds took thier leave." AjD hands patron tequila to everybody present. this is wonderful stuff. kate stretches, how am i going to get anything done here now i'm full of champagne? kate says, "ooh, tequila." heehoo says, "Depends on what needs getting done." heehoo says, "For instance, kate, there's no better time to pull your own teeth." ninj says, "kate: get someone to carry you out" kate says, "andy: nothing which would be improved by my being tipsy..." kate ah yes. where are the pliers? anthony again thanks Tom, Andy and Art. anthony says, "It's been tremendous. See you all later." heehoo says, "The Nuptial Threesome!" inkster says, "heehoo, I liked your words for the ceremony alot, btw." heehoo says, "I blew the last line, dean." heehoo says, "Shoulda been:" anthony says, "Hey Brett, you still there?" heehoo says, "...you may find that the love you hold for your partner will bolster your sanity" inkster says, "who knew heehoo, you had us reduced to blathering idiots by then" ninj waves ninj says, "ok, time of boogie onn outta here. see you guys later..." heehoo says, "....and drag you back from the stark howling pits of MADNESS." heehoo says, "Bye." ninj says, "ok, time of boogie onn outta here. see you guys later...: steps into the shadows" ninj has disconnected. ninj goes home. inkster says, "bye ninj" Sai says, "Hey if anybody on my shoulder wants to go for a walk somewhere, just let me know." heehoo says, "Oh no! boat races!" jsam thinks Tom's done a pretty good job for a quickly written mud. heehoo afk's to get sloppy AjD is buzzing heavily. might as well bring out the pipe. jsam waves his arms about wildly so you'll know he's been lagging. troc says, "Must. Go. Sleep. Thank you for a wonderful ceremony, and I'll see some of you tomorrow." inkster says, "tom is a progamming picasso" inkster says, "nite troc" AjD wves to troc troc has disconnected. troc goes home. AjD says, "i owe my friend a heavy favor for this loan of hardware." kate says, "give him a bottle of tequila." anthony bows kate says, "him/her?" AjD says, "he doesn't like liquor." heehoo says, "Augh! never anchor for the pantywaists!" kate says, "either way..." inkster says, "I was about to call jj/nat. I guess it's probably a good thing I can't find the #." anthony says, "Pantywaists?" heehoo says, "Yeah, man, let 'em, uh, sleep." AjD says, "i think they've gone to a resto, inky." heehoo says, "Pantywaists, man. these fewking LOSERS who can't DRINK to save their SOULS." AjD says, "or just to rest. not our concern, except vicariously." inkster says, "sleep my fanny! (another thing I probably couldn't find at this point.)" AjD gives heehoo a swig of tequila. pure agave, man. heehoo says, "Sleep your fanny? I dunno, is it a double?" heehoo jls 'Hide-a-fanny'. smarry says, "I can only manage to drink to damn my soul, sorry." AjD says, "how big's the fanny?" inkster says, "fanny waste." heehoo says, "Hide-a-butt!" anthony goes now. "bye, everyone." inkster says, "you know, it's illegal to say ass now." heehoo waves kate notes that in aus/NZ, apparently, the word 'fanny' refers instead to a more specifically female part of the lower anatomy. kate waves brett returns from Randall's, and can't get the salsa open. inkster says, "bye anthony" heehoo says, "You need my buddy's urine extraction device, brett." AjD says, "no it isn't, inkster. you can say assfuck all you wanna." anthony says, "but first I must says ASS ASS EXON IS AN ASS. Ok. Now I go."" anthony goes home. inkster says, "ijls 'congressional conundrum: exonerate the lewd or pack a woody.'" kate sighs. poor gooley, is there anything we can collectively do? AjD says, "CDA has been temporarily suspended by federal court ruling. you can say 'goddamned motherfucking republican shitheels' all you wanna." heehoo says, "Uh oh. did he make a scene?" inkster says, "what's the matter with gooly?!" AjD says, "kate: move him to seattle?" Michele grumbles. kate says, "he left, apparently in tears." AjD says, "the event depressed markian, so he logged out." Michele says, "Gooley doesn't *want* to be helped." heehoo says, "Depressed, eh?" AjD says, "he does tend to invoke the 'lost puppy' response." brett says, "We're taking him camping." inkster says, "he seemed in good spirits last I saw him. must have degenerated fast." kate says, "if he's off to ttt.btt that'd be good." kate says, "but the wedding seemed to oppress him bigtime about being single and lonely." heehoo says, "He said this, or you read it from him?" kate says, "we can send him presents, we can send him magazines, but we can't send him a girl." kate says, "he said it, heehoo." heehoo says, "Why can't we send him a girl? I gotta crate." kate says, "going on about not having dates, his everlasting virginity, etc. etc." heehoo says, "It's even got holes in it." inkster says, "the court did uphold the injunction and even made positive noises about the brief. but I can't muster much hope." Michele says, "Yes, he did. But he seemed more to be fishing for sympathy." Michele gets harsh. kate says, "he won't even consider a mail-order bride." heehoo says, "Well how PICKY." brett says, "Whoa - you can still do that?" heehoo says, "Sure, brett!" heehoo says, "Check out the Niemann-Marcus catalog some time!" brett says, "Hope light's up my weary bachelor's face!" AjD says, "it works the other way 'round too, brett!" kate imagines the irruption of a bossy little filipina into gooley's life. heehoo says, "Wow, sounds like a sitcom." Michele is flustered by Gooley. Zed catches the wedding on instant reply. *sniff* Nice work, Andy, Art. Michele says, "No matter what you say, he refuses to understand that you care." inkster says, "it's not the despair Laura, I can handle the despair. It's the hope!" - JCleese" heehoo says, "'Oh, no. i'm so depressed. i feel terrible. i...oh, knock at the door?'" AjD says, "'i married gooley': a bossy little filipina enters the life of one markian gooley. hilarity ensues. (9) 8:30 fridays." heehoo says, "'AIIIIIIIIIII CHI WAH WAH!'" heehoo says, "[laff track]" AjD slowly roasts over an open flame, marinated with tequila. heehoo says, "'Conchita, what do you think about cherry on this headboard?' 'I think you very, very fresh! [slap!] [laughter]" inkster says, "I picture that little filipina from 'Perscilla'. The one who shot ping pong balls at the locals on sturday nite."" AjD says, "heh." jsam hmms. Zed goes home. "Good night." heehoo waves AjD says, "man, i'm beat." Zed goes home. AjD drinks more tequila. brett thinks about dinner, and settles on...TOAST! inkster says, "nite zed." heehoo says, "Yeah, man. Hip. Maximal, like. Yeah. Cooool." jsam says, "'And in America, they have their fannies on the other side. Weird, eh?'" AjD says, "bye. thanksk for cming1" inkster laughs AjD is heavily lagged. i'm quite certain it's the net, not me. Tom says, "fooble!" heehoo says, "eh?" jkcohen has arrived. Tom says, "it's not the mud, anyway; everything's pretty quiet here now." jkcohen rewaves! How was the reception? kate says, "confusing! but fun." jkcohen says, "Have the happy couple gone off to boink each other silly?" AjD says, "utter chaos. as intendd." Michele boink boink boink heehoo says, "One assumes, jkcohen." brett says, "Toasted PB&J. There's nothing finer." jkcohen says, "Nice service, Art! A little prolix, but that added to the flavor of the occasion." heehoo says, "However, they MAY only be playing Foosball." jkcohen says, "A good point, heehoo." heehoo says, "which, incidentally, also goes 'boink' 'boink' 'boink'." jsam says, "kate, re gooley: we must acknowledge that there might not be anything we can do by means of direct intervention -- but we can welcome him when he does dig himself out. anyone know his Montana address? I wanna senda postcard." jkcohen says, "Well, I always thought it went thwock, thwock, thwock, but who's counting?" AjD says, "i think they're at chuck e cheese's." kate says, "jsam, i'll mail it tomorrow with the log, OK?" heehoo says, "They....they could be freezing in a ditch somewhere!" inkster says, "that reminds me. you promised me a post card months ago." jkcohen says, "3170 Solar Blvd. #16, Billings MT 59102" heehoo says, "They could have been kidnapped by PIRATES!" AjD says, "BUTT PIRATES!" kate arrrr! jkcohen brandishes an Oldsmobile Cutlass.! AjD wears a stuffed parrot! kristen goes downstairs to get some chocolate milk. mmm. inkster says, "does gooley post to t.b much. maybe a little horndoging would help too." heehoo says, "One time, when I was a mere undergrad, my suite attended the annual Night of Decadance party as the Butt Pirates." jkcohen says, "Arrrrrr! There's TREASURE packed betwixt those cheeks!" kate says, "inky, he'd either despise horndogging, or be totally led into it and have his heart broken." kristen says, "aie, jk!" AjD says, "i think horndogging scares markian." kristen would agree with kate. jkcohen says, "Arrrrr! Jenine, Pirate Gnat comes to plunder your treasure chest!" kristen laughs. kristen says, "eesh. how come every time i manage to tape The Tic it's the 'blowhole' whale episode with the swiss army knives." jkcohen says, "And two rubious treasures they are, me hearties! Worth the spice of India and the gold of Peru!" heehoo says, "....or gold of India and spice of Peru?" jsam thanks jkc. AjD says, "the india of peru and spice of gold!" heehoo says, "Gold spice, Old Spice....what's the diff." heehoo says, "Arr! walk me plank, maties!" heehoo says, "Shiver me tuber!" AjD drinks more tequila. kate hums '15 men on a live man's chest' heehoo unbuckles his swash AjD loses his yardarm. heehoo sings 'Friggin' in the Riggin'' Sai relays amyl: Well, thankyou for having me guys, I loved the weeding, good bye Sai relays amyl: wedding, dammit inkster says 'gunwale' and falls overboard. kate says, "mille sabords!" heehoo says, "Every semester, my college had something called College Night: a dinner intened to honor people important to the college." kate waves to amyl smarry catches up on scrollback once again, jeez. inkster says, "nite amyl" heehoo says, "Every time there was a theme. The first tiem, it was History of the World." smarry is not coked up enough to net five ways at once this evening. heehoo says, "My table went as Vikings. We removed the tablecloth and threw our food on the tabletop, eating with our bare hands." AjD says, "we screwed on the foredeck / we fucked on the quarterdeck / we did sixty-nine in the pilot room! / we had a great time / spent by fucking o'er the brine / and we stopped long enough to lower the boom!" heehoo says, "The next time, the theme was Cartoons." heehoo says, "We went as Vikings." heehoo says, "The next time was American Presidents." heehoo says, "Us: Vikings." kate says, "eric the red, first president of the u.s.?" heehoo says, "For ten College Nights I was Bjorn Njorlsson." kate thwaps AjD on general principles heehoo says, "It's not pirate-y, but it was darned close." heehoo says, "We raided the desserts from other tables." heehoo says, "One night we carried off the dean, who was female." smarry says, "Rice is darned odd place." smarry knows two other graduates and they're just as.. different. heehoo says, "Yeah, it sure was." inkster says, "art, you pirated that or you are admirably drunk sir." AjD says, "want more tequila." AjD drinks more tequila. Tom is drunk. Foo. heehoo says, "Bummer, man. I'm unbuzzed." jkcohen is sober and full of violently Mexican food. Two all-beef Zapatas. Tom says, "I'm tired-drunk now. I was ebullient-drunk during the ceremony." AjD says, "Viva Zapata!" inkster is rat-legged. Tom says, "jkcohen: send me a Mia Zapata Zapatista Socialismo Vegan Burrito." heehoo says, "Well, Tom, soon you'll be ANGRY drunk. Cool, huh?" tapaboy has arrived. kate is feeling post-bubbly and a mite wistful. it'll wear off. AjD is laterally drunk. heehoo says, "hey, jv!" tapaboy says, "drat drat drat. i missed it" heehoo says, "Well, there are logs, man." edg has arrived. AjD blesses jv. edg returns from RL. tapaboy says, "i started a capture but i thought that when i said chapel i went to the chapel and not just some place that may or may not be near the chapel" AjD sprinkles edg with holy tequila. Tom says, "hmmm, I think I'll shut my log off now." heehoo says, "Warning, Ed: Ash Wednesday in ten minutes!" tapaboy says, "stupid isp only just let me in from here" Tom says, "tapa: er, you didn't read the big descrition saying you weren't in the chapel?" kate oo, ash wednesday. i should smoke a cigar. edg blinks at Andrew. "So?" Tom says, "sorry, real dumb question." Tom exits to the chapel. tapaboy says, "no, i was on the way out and i read the part about bliss and chapel and guest book" heehoo says, "So, drink now!" heehoo is five feet from a vigorous game of Mexican. It's a dice game. AjD says, "jv; don't worry. there's a couple recrdings floating around." tapaboy says, "at least i left a lame mark on the guestbook" brett mourns the lack of booze in his flat. edg grabs a seat. A mug of Brooklyn chocolate Stout materializes in his hand. tapaboy says, "hey ed. long time no see" jsam laughs. Tom has arrived. edg says, "heya, johnathan" heehoo says, "See, you don't have to be Catholic to drink a lot on Mardi Gras. You just don't follow up with all the self-flagellation the day after." inkster eyes his last cigarette. heehoo says, "See? it's good to be a heathen." edg heartily agrees AjD gave up catholocism and he's never been drunker. er, heavier. um, happier. brett says, "I'm a Catholic at heart, though I wasn't raised in the church." tapaboy says, "tom, did you see where a casual reading by someone who just said ``chapel'' could be lulled into believing that was where he was?" jkcohen says, "Hi, ed!" tapaboy says, "oh well, next time" edg says, "hey, cool, the MUD remembered my old @doing." jkcohen says, "You know, I never thought I'd see you here again, ed." edg says, "hiya, jonathan." edg says, "well, I couldn't stay away from teh WEDDING." Tom says, "tapa: apologies. We couldn't anticipate everything. We wanted a buffer room in which to state the rules." gnat has disconnected. gnat goes home. edg says, "and after a brief RL break, I figured I'd see how the party was progressing." Tom says, "we're back under one screen of participants on the who list." brett says, "No one here but the die-hard drunks." edg hics heehoo says, "and the shameless recidivists." AjD says, "the drunk-hardened dead." Tom says, "and hard-core admins." edg haecs and hocs, too. jkcohen, as a recidivist, would do it all over again. Tom doesn't think he'll stay awake until black adder tonight. tapaboy says, "tom: no problem. it was my mistake, if an honest one" tapaboy says, "you have Black Adder!???" heehoo says, "Hey, they show blackadder in Seattle? I'm moving." Tom nods. tapaboy is jealous inkster says, "and self-flat... flagulants" Tom says, "yeh. They just ended a run of Red Dwarf and went to Black Adder." heehoo LOVES the Macbeth episode AjD says, "the friend who loaned me this cmputer also has all the blackadder tapes. he's quite a friend." Tom says, "geek question: does the currently 'last' red dwarf episode end in a cliffhanger? I wondered why the hell they did that, at least on my station." AjD says, "he also has all the mst3k episodes, bar maybe a dozen." heehoo says, "Because they are vicious, cruel minions of satan." Michele used to have a vast collection of BA tapes. Sai says, "Looks like everybody has vanished off this gateway now... 13 wasn't a bad turnedout." Michele says, "They're in Delaware, though. No VCR." Sai says, "I think I'll kill it and vanish myself" Tom says, "Sai: 13? Wow. I wonder what the total attendance was, then." Sai says, "It was fun..." Tom says, "Sai: goodnight. Thanks again." Michele waves. inkster says, "tom, you have time to watch tv?" heehoo waves Sai says, "Bye" Sai has disconnected. Sai goes home. AjD waves inkster admires tom even more. heehoo says, "Tom Boutell, you're my HERO." heehoo says, "Thank you, masked man." heehoo says, "Oh, MAN. My lenny bruce tape ate itself over the weekend." heehoo says, "Extreme annoyance." inkster says, "I'd say that sober too, I bet." AjD says, "bummer. you still hve firesign theater, no?" Tom says, "heehoo: it self-destructed in compliance with the CDA." jkcohen says, "Who was that masked man? Some people call him... the author of PerlMUD." inkster laughs Tom is pleased that perlmud didn't go WREEE-UNK! during the wedding. heehoo says, "'The night was hot -- hot like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist....'" AjD says, "POW!" heehoo says, "Yeah, I still have Firesign Theatre." AjD says, "hurrah! you can still live!" tapaboy goes WREE-UNK! kate blinks. jeez, is THAT what that quote is from> heehoo says, "Nick Danger: Third Eye!" kate don't mind me. an old friend of mine used to go around saying that. i never knew why. AjD says, "it's frm 'how can you be in two places at nce...'" jkcohen is amazed at what must have been 35 simultaneous connections sustained by a 2081 line program. brett says, "Tom's a god, what can you say?" AjD says, "a truly great album." AjD says, "bah. lag." kevin_s must be off. kevin_s has disconnected. kevin_s goes home. smarry says, "His perl prowess in indeed prodigous." Tom says, "jkcohen: it got to about 50. I was amazed. But this is actually what Perl is good at. If it works, it just works. It doesn't require or encourage fixed limits." heehoo says, "Su perl lative!" AjD misread that as 'sue pearl laxative' Tom has no arbitrary limits in the PerlMUD code. To be sure, there are points beyond which things might perform badly, but few constants. Michele rejects a mess of commercial posts! heehoo says, "Are you moderating drunk again?" heehoo tsks inkster says, "prolific programming" brett rejects the existence of a supreme being! heehoo rejects several organs! jkcohen accepts the little portative organ played in the chapel. AjD says, "aw. i want a twinkie." heehoo says, "God gave you one of those, Art. Look down." brett says, "Oh my. I must be going. This work thing has been a MAJOR adjustment for my body." AjD says, "har de har hard." Tom starts Drinking Water. This act is an admission that he is done Drinking Booze and has begun Warding Off Hangover. edg says, "Work Is Bad" heehoo says, "Bye, brett." brett says, "The wedding was wonderful. Andy, will you speak at my hypothetical ceremony?" edg waves to brett AjD says, "bye, brrett" heehoo says, "okay, Tom, do this." jkcohen selects heehoo and Tom as his DUAL HEROS. heehoo says, "Shave your head." heehoo says, "Draw a dotted line around the crown." heehoo says, "Now, get a hacksaw." AjD says, "dual cam overhead super heroes!" heehoo says, "Gently saw through your cranium." heehoo says, "However, do NOT damage your brain tissues." heehoo says, "Next, fill a large bowl full of water." heehoo says, "Open your brainpan and remove your brain." heehoo says, "Immerse it in the water." heehoo says, "Now turn in for the night." heehoo says, "Tomorrow morning, your brain will be truly rehydrated." brett has disconnected. brett goes home. heehoo says, "Your only challenge will be squeezing it back into the brainpan." kate says, "you just wring it out a bit." heehoo says, "Works for me, man. Every time." inkster ponders self-trepination as an alternative to catholicism AjD prefers tequila. heehoo says, "Beats the SHIT of out tomato juice." kristen wishes it would be WARM at midnight and COLD at 4 in the morning, in her apartment, instead of hte other way around. I'm freezing. AjD drinks more tequila! kristen drinks chocolate milk and eats something approximating rice pudding. heehoo says, "How do you approximate rice pudding?" kate drinks espresso. AjD says, "with tapioca, andy." heehoo says, "Drop a Rice Krispies bar in milk, huh?" kristen says, "rice, milk, butter, and sugar." j.j says, "we're back!" kate says, "yay!" heehoo says, "THAT WAS QUICK." inkster says, "HI!" edg says, "yay!" j.j says, "we went for chinese food. we had the whole restaurant to ourselves!" heehoo says, "uh....huh." edg says, "THAT WAS CONVENIENT" kate says, "so how were the fortune cookies?" heehoo says, "Ah....hah." AjD looks at gnat. "fast work, man." heehoo says, "mm.....hm." heehoo says, "Admit it. You fornicated like teens on sodium pentathol." jkcohen hugs his dear dear friends j.h and gnat. jkcohen amends: j.j inkster inkster privately thinks 'I didn't think that was so fast.' AjD says, "john henry." jkcohen jls "Mr. and Mrs. Jenine Abarbanel-Torkington." kristen laughs. heehoo says, "Abarbington?" kristen says, "i can't wait to start the rumors about jj's triplets." jkcohen says, "Has any decision on surnames been reached?" AjD says, "torkinel" kristen says, "torkinbarb." heehoo says, "Quisling." j.j says, "sounds like a medication." j.j is dizzy and drunk. here, you all talk to nat. heehoo jls "Hi! we're the Quislings!" AjD says, "jenine phenobarbanel" jkcohen says, "Hey, hey, they're the Quislings! Betraying everybody around!" heehoo says, "Caius Julius Arrhenobarbanel Caesar?" gnat has arrived. jkcohen groans at heehoo's classicism. gnat wobbles into existence. edg says, "zip up, Nat." heehoo says, "Howdy, dude!" AjD is amazed gnat can still walk. gnat will now read you the Chinese fortunes: gnat says, "mine was: Your business will assume vast proportions." heehoo says, "'You will be slain by an Ox.'" gnat says, "this is much funnier when you understand we use 'business' to mean 'genitals'." jkcohen says, "You will die of food poisoning in a Chinese restaurant."" gnat says, "j.j's was: You are sociable and entertaining." AjD says, "IN BED!!!" gnat and j.j are overwhelmed by the surreal nature of what just happened. gnat says, "AjD: *exactly*" heehoo says, "Surreal?" heehoo says, "Hey, art; we're FELLINI-ESQUE!" gnat thinks heehoo is more kafka-esque. AjD says, "aw. cool." gnat is esque-esque. heehoo buzzes. heehoo says, "When the insects rule, I shall join them." AjD says, "which one is the hunchbacked dwarf, and which one's sophia loren?" heehoo says, "I'm the clown. Back off, man." inkster says, "gnat, show a little restraint ok. one hopeless bachelor has run off in despair already." gnat says, "inkster: some day gooley's prince-nez will come." heehoo says, "Gooley, gooley! let down your hair!" heehoo says, "'well, okay, I suppose I will.'" gnat giggles. AjD says, "he'll make apologies for not having combed it." edg says, "'There isn't that much of it, though. Is that all right?'" kate says, "'it's not very clean!'" heehoo says, "you're all worms for STEALING MY LINES." edg snickers kate says, "'if only i'd gotten around to building a ladder'" kristen laughs. AjD says, "we're SNEAKY worms!" inkster says, "but I didn't *say* anything." heehoo says, "You're not so much a worm as a leech, inkster." heehoo <--- comforting presence edg says, "strategic silence is one of Andy's lines, Dean." AjD says, "but andy, you're just a potato." gnat falls asleep in heehoo's comforting tentacles. heehoo says, "Hey, on the internet...." smarry says, "bah. who thought up this "Gen 13" thing and why aren't they in garbage cans all over the lower east side." kate says, "...nobody knows you're a space potato?" heehoo says, "They could be. Name a price." heehoo says, "UNDERCOVER potato." inkster takes that to mean that he may show promise as a writer. smarry says, "I'd have to be paid high to be willing to be associated with such an infamous act, in truth." kristen smooches. "Night." heehoo waves AjD is a 12th generation american.. true. gnat waves to kristen. AjD wvs too krstien kristen has disconnected. kristen goes home. heehoo says, "Nobody has any idea how many generations are in my father's family. NO records." AjD says, "smarry: you'd be amazed by what you can get drawn into." kate says, "right back to the beginning, man" AjD says, "exactly, kate." heehoo says, "But in this country, I mean." corprew has disconnected. corprew goes home. Michele is a first-generation American. Yup. smarry nods to AjD. heehoo says, "Grant? what kind of a self-respecting foreign name is THAT, hah?" gnat and j.j stagger off to bed to consume their marriage. Or something. kate's ancestors ran pubs, cut peat pogs and ran a small dubious country called Dalriada. heehoo waves and leers Michele says, "Hey! It's Canadian!" Michele waves. kate says, "not pogs. bogs. but maybe..." AjD says, "smarry: if you met me when i was in college and convinced me that my degree would, 8 years later, get me a job making web sites for fabio and margerine, i would've quit school on the spot." smarry says, "if I weren't resigned to the possibility of unwholesome weirdness in my future, the thought of posting in the same newsgroup as strych9 would panic me." heehoo says, "Peat pogs! hee!" kate hugs Michele. you're safe with me. have a hockey puck. Michele says, "Art! It's _margarine_! With an _a_!" AjD says, "it's biscuits! with a _c_!" heehoo says, "....Fabio? oh, Art. Art. Art." kate says, "fabio?" AjD nods. fabio. kate scents the rich aroma of broken NDAs jkcohen boggles, and imagines a "rippling chest muscles" server push. Michele will trade a silvery hologram pog for one of kate's peat pogs! AjD says, "we have realaudio soundclips on the site, too." heehoo says, "You know....from behind, art's hair.....and fabio's hair....HM." kate says, "URL?" AjD says, "kate: the public rollout was today, in nyc. one of the programmers is in new york, recovering from running a web site for fabio's videoclips." heehoo says, "SEPARATED AT BIRTH (?)" AjD says, "heehoo: don't entertain the thought." heehoo says, "too late." edg says, "the poor bastard, Art. He'll never be the same again." heehoo says, "I wined and dined the thought. We had a sticky night of ecstasy." inkster says, "leech" heehoo says, "strewth." AjD says, "Yes, this was the fhad site." kate says, "oh jeez. how did you keep from talking about it?" AjD says, "TWO WEEKS of intense pain and emotional abuse for goddamned MARARINE!" kate says, "derrick kept making fabio refs, too." kate imagines fabio oiling his rippling pecs with margarine. whut? jkcohen boggles. Margarine is not worth anguish. AjD says, "aforementioned cow orker is getting autographs of fabio for us." AjD says, "'i can't believe it's not butter' can bite ME!!" heehoo says, "'Hallo, I am fabio. I very much love the weemeen, although I have never seen one naked.'" smarry says, "who's Fabio again?" Michele wants an autographed 8 x 10 glossy. For real. edg says, "fabio and margarine. what's the connec-- no. no, I don't WANT to know." heehoo says, "Not too glossy, though, or the paint won't stick." AjD says, "fabio is the spokesmodel for 'i can't believe it's not butter'." Michele fries an egg on Fabio's chest, in margarine. smarry says, "bleagh" edg blinks jkcohen gasps, and imagines the phrase in spanish. kate says, "isn't fabio italian?" heehoo says, "Of course, given his evident brainpower, Fabio might not be able to believe it's not, say, a stick of dynamite." AjD says, "his agent phoned us while we were constructing the site. he wanted us to update fabio's bio page: he had sold the jaguar for a bentley, one of his dogs had been replaced, and his sixth car is a hummer, not a humvee." kate says, "'i can't believe it's not plastique!'" jkcohen says, "I don't believe so. Anyway, the phrase sounds as though it would be funnier in spanish, with those funny inverted exclamation markis." AjD says, "...i am NOT making up that bit about the bio." smarry says, "euurgh" jkcohen says, "Well, hopefully the FHAD will go down with his canola oil." smarry says, "sounds thoroughly revolting" heehoo says, "A hummer? euw. I hope he doesn't plan an amphibious assault in THAT thing." jkcohen scoots. Love to all! (jkcohen imagines the nuptial activities, and understands the inequities of distribution.) jkcohen has disconnected. jkcohen goes home. AjD says, "i think the site is still locked. in a couple days, start hitting www.tasteyoulove.com. trying any earlier than friday won't get you anywhere. it'll definitely be working by next monday." heehoo says, "tasteyoulove." heehoo says, "huh." kate says, "elaborately, magnificently, baroquely horrible, art." edg says, "if he really understands the inequities of distribution, why doesn't he become an economist?" AjD says, "the lawyers rejected 'www.butter.com' because the product isn't butter. they were afraid of accusations of false advertising." edg says, "www.notbutter.com" kate says, "www.lipids-n-cholesterol.com" heehoo says, "'Ah-hah, boyo, cheeyew let choo mama taste you love, si?'" smarry says, "www.incredulity.com" AjD says, "i'm not making that up either. i don't HAVE to make any of this up. the TRUtH is FAR MORE HORRIBLE." edg nods sympathetically. The truth usually is. AjD says, "so, anyway, that's why i've got to get out of this business. it's insane." AjD says, "and not in a good way." heehoo says, "I have a fantasy to be set loose on Fabio for fifteen minutes with some strips of tinfoil and a hot glue gun." smarry dreams of a magazine called "Fuck You." AjD says, "i've got a copy, smarry." Michele wonders if everyone knows that Buchanan won the New Hampshire primary. heehoo says, "Sadly, yes." AjD says, "you're kidding, michele." Michele says, "And that New Hampshire is most often abbreviated as _NH_." heehoo says, "she is not." smarry says, "It would be sold via subscription. The first issue would be blank." AjD says, "please, for the love of gawd and man, tell me that you're lying." heehoo says, "no, he won by a narrow margin." Michele URL's: http://152.52.2.152/nt/nando.cgi edg says, "Buchanan WON? Oh. My. God." Michele says, "kate: yep. One percent." AjD says, "if nothing else, this means that clinton becomes an easier shoo-in by the day." heehoo says, "Don't bet on it, Art." kate said nuffin. this is all extraterrestrial to her. edg says, "huzzah! the Republican Party is self-destructing before our very eyes!" heehoo says, "Beside, here's some math:" heehoo says, "do you prefer:" AjD says, "i'm not betting. i'm hoping." heehoo says, "A) a 50-50 shot of Dole, or" heehoo says, "B) a one in six shot of Buchanan?" heehoo says, "I pick A all the way." heehoo says, "And I hate Dole." heehoo says, "But at least there won't be an utter loony in the hotseat." smarry hmms. heehoo says, "I plan on spending the day of the Republican convention praying, "please, please, please let it be the feeb!'" smarry favours the idea of a random lottery of Fortune 500 corporation presidents, and sticking the winner with the job. heehoo says, "A year ago, that would have made Forbes eligible. I don't like that plan." AjD says, "eeesh. same thing, smarry." edg says, "you know, smarry, that's not a bad idea. It couldn't be any worse." heehoo says, "But, ed, all those guys would want a 17% flat tax." edg says, "no, Art! Most of tehse guys are *dumber* that F500 CEOs." smarry says, "bah, PEROT was eligible." AjD says, "choose between: [sell out to corporations | sell out to corporations]" heehoo says, "here, I got a better idea than a flat tax:" heehoo says, "Those durned welfare people cost us thousands a year per head." heehoo says, "Let's put a $1000 bounty on each dead welfare person!" heehoo says, "Everybody wins!" heehoo says, "(except those who don't vote or count....)" smarry nods to heehoo. AjD says, "if you include federal office holders' pensions as welfare, i'm in." heehoo says, "Oh, and hey! look at social security!" smarry has long considered a scenario named "The Harlem Airlift". heehoo says, "What we need to do is implement Carousel, like in LOGAN'S RUN." smarry says, "the encircling chaos prevents bringing in aid by land, so we must drop our supplies of guns and ammo from the AIR" heehoo says, "oo! oo! ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK comes TRUE! I like! I like!" heehoo says, "(btw, filming of the sequel, ESCAPE FROM LA, is underway.)" smarry likes the IDEA, but wouldn't want to participate from any distance under three hundred miles. smarry says, "woo" heehoo says, "subtitle: KURT RUSSELL NEEDS MONEY" smarry says, "the jails are just as full in the future, doesn't it just figure" smarry thought EFNY was keen, grim and garish, but keen. heehoo says, "Friends, Mardi Gras is drawing to a close. I have to preside. Ciao." heehoo waves heehoo has disconnected. heehoo goes home. kate says, "bye!" smarry says, "bye damn" edg is full of beer and sleepyness. edg waves Tom says, "what is heehoo presiding over?" edg has disconnected. edg goes home. Michele says, "Is heehoo Catholic?" kate says, "eldritch ash wednesday rituals, maybe." kate says, "michele, he isn't." kate says, "he's half jewish but i've no idea what he really believes." kate says, "he's trotted out some pretty buddhist ideas in some of his stories, but when i ask him about them he evades the question." jsam wonders how lagged he is now. Michele says, "You're not lagged. There's just nothing going on. Except in j.j and gnat's bedroom." jsam says, "uh." jsam says, "So I see." smarry waves to jsam. kate smooches jsam jsam says, "It looks like the perlmud doesn't flush output when you lag for ages, which is interesting." jsam smooches kate and smiles at smaragdseragd. Tom says, "jsam: it flushes when you get to 16K of crap." Tom says, "jsam: that way I can throw fairly large chunks at the I/O system without a complaint (such as the motd, the help, etc)." jsam nods. jsam says, "How's the box's performance been today, then?" jsam says, "50 users say it scales pretty well." AjD has disconnected. AjD goes home. Tom says, "there have been no problems, far as I can see." jsam says, "And the load on boutell.com?" Tom says, "jsam: minimal, really." jsam says, "Wow. " Tom says, "jsam: it's a RAM-based mud. As such, it could suffer with a LOT of users." Tom says, "er, a lot of objects. Users aren't the issue." jsam says, "Do you mind if I quiz you on it a little? I'm looking forward to reading the code, so you can opt out if you like." Tom says, "jsam: of course, Perl has gdbm built into it, so I could theoretically map all the arrays to gdbm databases, but there would be a lot of them." Tom says, "jsam: sure." Tom says, "jsam: I'm a little slow just now, but shoot." jsam says, "you store the whole database in perl arrays in core, then? " inkster says, "leech." tapaboy finishes answering all the newt questions in rec.pets.herp kate says, "that bug you, inky?" Tom says, "jsam: yes. $objectLocations[], $objectDescriptions[], $objectHomes[], etc. No OOP language features are used, but a fascist OOP naming convention is at work." jsam calls inkster names too, but then realises he may owe him a postcard. Michele URL's: http://www.global-image.com/eXonizer/ inkster says, "yeah" Tom says, "jsam: Unix swaps. Unix pages. Unix does lazy allocation. Seemed like a good idea to take advantage of all this simplicity." inkster says, "do I really come off that way?" kate says, "inky, when heehoo's in full spate you can't take some of what he says to heart." kate says, "the rest of us were worms, remember?" jsam nods to Tom. "Okay. How do you handle checkpointing?" kate says, "it's part of his whole texan routine to put people down. honestly, don't brood on it." inkster says, "yeah. it's part booze and part wondering where I stand sometimes. this *is* a tough crowd." jsam says, "You still haven't met many in person, have you, dean?" inkster says, "I'll stop whining now." inkster says, "actually, I met nat, jj, stevi and julian one day" inkster says, "we had a lot of fun." jsam smiles. smarry reads comics, exceedingly slowly. inkster chuckles jsam suspects he should go back to 10ss and do final cleaning. Yes. inkster says, "10ss?" Tom says, "jsam: synchronization of actions, or just database dumps?" smarry says, "viewing the web with chimera is like having to solve a crossword puzzle before you can read the comics." inkster says, "chimera? another of my favorite words. Is that the name of a browser?" smarry says, "yeah, an extremely, uh, sporadic one." jsam says, "10ss = 10 Stephens Street, the house that I've just moved out of." inkster says, "beats the hell out of 'netscape' when you think about it." Michele yawns. Michele says, "I'm feeling distinctly unwilling to continue moderating tonight." jsam says, "tom: db dumps. I presume synchronisation isn't a problem; it's single-threaded, isn't it?" Michele says, "Tom's watching Trek." Michele says, "You'll have to wait for an ad break." jsam says, "Ah, okay. I'll let him watch. " inkster says, "sam: 279 Pearl St. #15, Boulder CO 80302" digger has arrived. jsam says, "gotcha, ink." digger allo's the hangers on kate says, "hi digger!" Michele waves. Michele notes that corp is pretty much passed out here in the livingroom. smarry hms at this spate of Elvis images. digger says, "Heya, The peetniks loved the wedding. Y'all done good. as my redneck roomate in GA used to say" smarry says, "in one of these pictures he looks positively negroid." Michele waves. Michele says, "Bonsoir, mes petits choux." jsam says, "night." Michele still can't type in French. digger keeps one eye open Michele has disconnected. Michele goes home. digger says, "Seeya" digger missed jsam says, "I must go and be a cleaningperson." jsam says, "Be programs and work, my friends." digger says, "Byea Sam" kate says, "digger, you're here for the last few moments of the wedding, i think." jsam hugs kate on his way out. jsam has disconnected. jsam goes home. digger says, "It was a connection snafu from hell" digger says, "I got on at 6:05PST" digger says, "I got logged off by an incoming phonecall at 6:10PST" kate nods. it started a bit late, tho. kate says, "i have a log of the whole event." digger says, "I was finally able to reconnect at 6:20 for good" digger says, "Cool, can you mail it to me? (please?!>" kate says, "mcleary@slip.net?" digger says, "Then at like 7:20 or so, with half the staff watchingthe ceremony rush to the bar" digger says, "..." digger says, "Yup" digger says, "Bruce ran a mop bucket over the power cord and almost pulled the entire setup off the table!" kate aie. "i'll be mailing it out tomorrow, digger. for now, i crash, only to rise again." kate waves, digger says, "Power out, I decided we'd had enough. And split. It made for a good journal entry." kate hee! digger says, "G'night Kate" kate says, "cool. 'night, digger." kate has disconnected. kate goes home. inkster says, "I'm all out of aplomb too. Au avoir mes ami." inkster has disconnected. inkster goes home. digger says, "Later inky ... I'm gonna take over your PC in the middle of the night" digger sighs digger says, "Always look to the positive" digger says, "and never drop your head" digger says, "for the water will engulf you" digger says, "if you do not dare to tread" digger says, "so just tread water" digger's feeling de la digger exits to the chapel. smarry has disconnected. smarry goes home. digger has arrived. digger has disconnected. digger goes home. waider has arrived. tapaboy has disconnected. tapaboy goes home. troc has arrived. troc says, "Wow, what a night." waider says, "Hallo" waider is somewhat wrecked waider says, "I left at about 3:15 GMT. I must got logs subsequent to that." waider gotta go LUNCH now troc says, "Eeyow." waider returns d. has arrived. waider says, "Yay d.!" d. says, "yay waider!" waider says, "howsdabod?" d. says, "dabodissleepy" waider grins. Yeah, ditto. How did the sacrifice go? d. says, "pretty good. i managed to perform a bait and switch, replacing vampyr with an exact duplicate made of soylent clear" waider hee! troc says, "That was keen, yeah." waider just (finally) found tinymud.el. Turns out it's an old version of mud.el, bah. d. says, "thanks, troc!" waider goes back to hacking mud.el himself. troc says, "d., did you ever get socket support? It's odd because the error should be `unsupported socket function` if the admin left support out." d. says, "I was told that our build of perl has everything, including socket support. i got sidetracked recently on another project, though" waider says, "How many people were on last night? 30?" d. doesn't know. troc says, "Mid 40s." troc finds a list with 42 people in it. troc says, "42 during the vows, with Sai relaying for four or more." waider woo! waider @emits a woo woo for the squid. troc says, "Perl and Tom rock." waider says, "I wanna see the Perl for this mud. Tom says he'll release it soon enough, once he's got a few things straightened out." waider hits himself in the eye with some yoghurt. Ick. troc says, "He mentioned something about being able to contribute code to it. I twitch anticipatorily." waider nods. Indeed. waider is using isqlperl at the moment. waider muahhahah SELECT * into @bigass_array and EAT SWAP, little 'p00ter! troc says, "$big = "Narf!" x 0xF000000; # yeehaw!" waider watches troc's PC fall over and die. waider adds a spoon to his cutlery collection. waider says, "I had some repairs done to my PC by a harware hacker last night. He said, "We can do a dead beetle job on this." He did." waider says, "Unfortunately, my COM1 is still dead." d. says, "a "dead beetle job"?" troc says, "What is this `dead beetle job`?" waider says, "I suspect that replacing a duff output driver was not enough; the input driver must be roached too." waider says, "Dead beetle: take one IC. Turn it upside down. Solder in place with wires." waider says, "GARNISH WITH BEAK" waider ahem. waider likes "roached" as a term for non-functional with reference to hardware. d. says, "kristen is a monster-drawing genius" troc says, "Neat! I knew about `roached` but not the dead beetle bit. I thought it was a VW reference." tapaboy has arrived. waider says, "Yay tapa!" tapaboy says, "hey there" waider says, "d: Can you provide URL-proof?" tapaboy wants the morning after void! d. says, "I can, waider." troc says, "Hello tapaboy." waider says, "tapa: both plord & edg asked about saint.bob/mini.waider.bob/whatever." waider says, "I guess I should get eds to set up a mailing list, yes?" troc says, "That may help the success factor." waider nods. I'm short on clues about organizing this sort of thing. Bear with me. troc says, "You show me yours FIRST." waider thwaps troc. "Tapa has also suggested merging ice.bob with this." waider heee! Read this NOW: http://www.funhouse.com/jfw/tb/The_Real_Superhighway.html tapaboy says, "well, it's just names but ice.bob was a single event last year that coincided with my usual ice party" waider says, "The bloke fixing my PC last night is a Macintosh fan. He's got Win95 set up to look *very* like system 7 - toolbar at the top being the most obvious thing. Looks like a Mac at first glance." tapaboy says, "this year the ice party was moved to coincide with a mini-bob for waider which we can call anything" waider nods at tapa. Indeed. waider says, "I've mailed eds to ask him to set up a list. Hey, did my announce hit t.b at all?" waider posted via itribe. d. says, "I saw it." d. does that count? waider heh. In the logs or on the froup? waider grins d. says, "froup" waider guesses that that counts. waider wonders if he managed to killfile himself or just missed the post at his provider. Hmmmmm. tapaboy teases waider in email and goes to work. tapaboy newt-cam operational! waider bites the bait. Oops. waider begs tapa for a clue! "Pleez! Just one!" puckett has arrived. waider uses up his day's supply of the letter 'b'. puckett says, "hi hi" d. says, "puck. ett." puckett says, "Nice response time for perl, eh?" waider says, "Hello puckett" puckett says, "My impression always has been that perl is slow -n- clunky." puckett says, "Another stereotype bites the dust." waider erects a Perl wall around puckett 'fore puckett even notices. waider writes a formula 1 car in Perl. d. says, "camera position unknown?" puckett says, "How was the wedding?" waider says, "d.: Sensors may be down. He had that problem with it before" waider says, "puckett: Pretty damn excellent." puckett cries. waider says, "There are MANY transcripts. Someone should merge them to present a full view of everything." puckett says, "I need to send those kidz a card." d. urls Kristen's excellent picture of jack the chevin: http://www.itribe.net/~page/images/jack.gif puckett says, "I'll keep an eye in the froup." puckett says, "Gotta go to work. Stay cool, y'all." puckett has disconnected. puckett goes home. tapaboy says, "camera position unknown means it is between sensors and it, well doesn't know where it is" waider says, "You should have it say, "Camera postition: Unclear, ask again later" waider says, "Or maybe "On my desk. Deal."" waider says, "Mondo monster, d." tapaboy says, "is used to say ``somewhere vaguely towards newts''" tapaboy says, "on the other hand, it is broken. hang on..." d. says, "quick! take lots of pictures and try to electricute him!" waider points the DEATH RAY at his cow orkers. tapaboy says, "well, drat. i rebooted linux and the dos machine that runs the camera got a newtwork error: Abrt, retry ignore." tapaboy says, "i retried and now its happy" waider grins. The DOS mantra. d. looks innocent. too inncoent. d. says, "I see a big green newt!" d. talks to the newt through his monitor. waider says, "Things I would like in my killfile: kill on sig quote/organization from dubiously popular "underground" book." d. blinks. d. says, "such as?" vampyr has arrived. d. says, "vampy!" waider says, "Oh, just pick some random book that's underground culture in nature and take a quotable bit. Sorry I haven't got names..." vampyr tackles d.! and waider! waider says, "...I just saw something that I recognise as being from such a book but the name escapes me." waider swings vampyr around vampyr says, "whee!" waider lets go vampyr slams into the bar and passes out. waider says, "Actually, no, I think I'll just settle for a killfile that says kill if clueless. That'll do." d. says, "I'd pay real money for that, waider" d. says, "write it and sell it." d. says, "field complaints: I keep posting but it keeps killing my own articles!" waider stumble on a gem thread in tbwa waider says, "d: Heh. Yeah, It'd do that." waider says, "And maybe delete your posting software, AND mail your sysadmin." troc says, "And degauss the platters and backups its on." waider says, "Wow. This thread even has a *sensible* lhwood post!" waider says, "search for subject: The local TV station cut down my antenna" waider says, "skip article one unless you want context" waider adds random twiglets to his nest of work while generally doing nothing much. waider hee! Posting with a subject line of "multiple signatures" (asking about a random sig file on posts) and it has two sig file attached... vampyr loves the aforementioned thread. "percentile dicksize wars, to boot!" waider grins. "It's a good example of a flaming with REAL FIRE[tm]. vampyr cheers jfw three years after the fact. waider says, "jfw has quite a good collection of tee dot bee stuff on his site, btw." waider looks at a spoonerism for 30s before figuring it out. d. crushes waider. troc waits for the cgi server to get 5.001m with sockets. vampyr is doubling over with laughter at the shaving rant. vampyr says, "especially the Manicured Beard part." vampyr says, "hitler thought it amusing, too." d. says, "hitleriffic!" vampyr says, "now, with 20 percent more hitler!" troc says, "Get yours today before it gets YOU." vampyr says, "[jingle: it's tasty and it's meaty and it goes well with your tie! it's tiny and it's ugly and it makes a lousy pie! it's the taste that will make you go absolutely loony! it's the disgusting yet convincing treat: hitler-itler-oony!]" kate has arrived. troc flays vampyr. vampyr says, "tough room." troc says, "Oop. Hi, kate. I wasn't REALLY going to flay him." tapaboy has disconnected. tapaboy has connected. kate flays EVERYBODY vampyr says, "it'd have been better with the accompanying accordion part." vampyr says, "g'morning, kate. thanks for ridding me of my SKIN. not that i NEEDED it, or anything." tapaboy says, "how do you find out where people are on this mud?" d. says, "kateabooblyboo!" troc says, "I suppose you page them." kate urgh. thwap him, thwap him. tapaboy is feature deprived troc says, "Say, does it save the @doing?" kate says, "jv, i think you have to hassle tom to add that. there's no where or finger yet." kate says, "troc, apparently it does. i logged back in 5 mins ago and got last night's @going, and erased it." tapaboy says, "you also can't be logged in more than once." troc says, "It should be something less temporary than `Doing` if it's going to be persistent. Like a `Blurb` or something." waider says, "Hello kate" kate says, "hi waider!" tapaboy says, "it's called ``prefix'' on the Fishroom mud but i don't know why" waider hugs kate. vampyr says, "could someone give me an opinion some graphics?" tapaboy says, "graphics are good" vampyr says, "ON some graphics. on." vampyr thwaps jv. troc says, "Probably, but there's no URL..." waider had a complete linguistic failure about five minutes ago. No speki english j.j says, "good MORNING." vampyr says, "you people are a pain in my hide." waider woo woo waider flays vampyr. No more pain. troc says, "Hey, j.j! How's it feel to be married?" tapaboy says, "hi j.j, how was your evening?" vampyr says, "http://www.studentservices.com/Graphics/gnn/. anything in all caps." >@desc me = a slightly rumpled, bathrobe wearing, circles-under-the-eyes, walking funny newlywed. Description set. vampyr cheers j.j! j.j says, "a) feels ok, not too freaky. b) hey! that's classified." j.j grins and afks for cereal. waider uh-oh. 'nother big system upgrade on the way... j.j says, "i just came in to change my @desc." troc says, "Pat won the NH primary. You can be scared now." j.j says, "you're kidding." tapaboy says, "don't blame me, i don't live there any more" troc says, "I'm relaying news from the radio." waider woo. Irish Govt. plays hardball with UK. waider says, "Write it down, it's an event." becca has arrived. troc says, "Are these serious, eamon?" waider says, "Yay becca" becca says, "hi, waider" gnat waves. troc doesn't know how to take troc says, "Hi, becca" becca says, "how's everyone the morning after?" becca says, "hi troc" waider is vauge. tapaboy wants Whirly Girls vampyr says, "yes, troc. really real." gnat is ok. A little fragile in the head, but otherwise fine. becca says, "congratulations gnat" vampyr whispers cheers to gnat! kate good morning, mes petits choux troc says, "The second line seems to compare the 180,000 other scholarships with the one on the first line. My first impression is that they go together instead of contrast." tapaboy says, "hi becca. scan that phot yet?" corprew has arrived. becca says, "nope, sorry tapa. I keep thinking of it after I've forgotten to bring it to work" corprew waves. becca waves to corprew troc says, "Example: `the whirly-girls helicopter training scholarship and over 180,000 other down-to-earth scholarships` seems to imply that TW-GHTS is down-to-earth too. It may just be me." corprew starts instead of finishes his birthday with a hangober. becca says, "happy birthday, corp" corprew says, "thanks." kate smooches corp. happy birthday! becca says, "it's probably better that way" troc tackles corp, "pylon the birthday boy!" vampyr mms. "i see what you mean, troc. good point." d. says, "happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you." corprew says, "the only good thing about seattle is that I'm probably not going to be nuked by bright sunlight today." vampyr says, "yay corp!" becca sings "happy birthday dear corprew... corprew says, "(...about having a birthday in seattle...) whoops" waider says, "happy birthday to you" becca ponders the whole Seattle concept corprew says, "Why?" waider says, "Spend your birthday in a haze!" becca says, "because I might be moving there, if I get into grad school at UW" corprew says, "ah." corprew's new apartment has a view of Seattle's official phallic thingy. becca says, "then again, I'v already gotten in and gotten money at U of Arizona. But I'm not climatically suited to living in Tucson" corprew says, "Only cacti and gila monsters are." tapaboy says, "if you go to tucson i will visit you. my brother lives in tucson" waider says, "StarCa'n Ra will visit you. You have been warned." waider grins becca pretends to be a gila monster becca cowers kate says, "huck's so nice in real life, though." waider says, "Maybe Jason Corley, too, if he's still there." troc says, "Three froupers shall visit. The frouper of t.b past shall be the first." waider says, "True, kate. Almost shy." waider scratches the almost. He *did* seem quite shy at hott.bob. corprew says, "OTOH, in seattle the froupers are thick and fast moving, even if most of them did have 4+ beers in less than 1.5 hours last night." tapaboy says, "i don't think shy. just not outgoing" gnat sings "Happy Birthday" to corp in American Sign Language. waider hmms. "I find it hard to differentiate, tapa." troc says, "Hi, gnat. How does it feel to be married?" waider grins corprew says, "Yeah, congratulations." corprew says, "Did you have an evening of martial bliss?" troc says, "Work in progress: a rendered replica of a Chinese garden. " corprew heh. oops. gnat says, "troc: it feels vauge, slightly marly, almost inhart. Almost, but not quite." becca ponders martial bliss gnat says, "corp: freudian slip." corprew says, "Like that movie about japanese vs. chinese kung fu." corprew says, "The Grant's apartment looks like a disaster movie set." waider says, "GIF! GIF!" gnat says, "JIF! JIF!" gnat headlines: "PAT BUCHANAN: HAS AMERICA LOST ITS MIND?" gnat afks to give j.j the keyboard. d. says, "BRANE DRANE!" j.j says, "aie!" becca is tempted to quote dan quayle "what a shame it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind... >n Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, j.j >exa guest book Guest Book #46 Owner: j.j Home: #0 book Lock: #134 Location: #134 Please sign our guest book! This can be done using the command "sign Guest Book = ". Thanks - j.j and gnat. gnat: this is a test. cope. Sai: Congrats gnat matt: I thought Gnat would be the last to fall, HA! -Matt, Fiona ninj: congrats! may your fires of passion never be extingushed Sai: dean Congrats guys - best of luck Sai: tomek Use the force... - Tomek Sai: spacey uh, groovy - spACEy Lockhart: miyume: Onneksi olkoon! Kaikkea hyvaa sinulle! *hug* kevin_s: Congrats and let's hear some noise during the consumation! waider: All the best, guys! (waider & orla) tapaboy: GIF! GIF! GIF! pirich: Have fun, kiddies! anthony: Congratulations! vampyr: AjD: You're both dears. success! -- AjD brett: Brett Summers, Perpetual Bridesmaid troc: Yay! Woo-woo! Best wishes to you both. rmk: Congratulations and good luck in the future! - Rick Kelly Tom: eval(gnat+j.j); squirty: i adore both of you utterly. *smooch* my fondest wishes. Sai: (sue) Have an awesome life together d.: inkster: heritas. na zisete! Sai: (amyl) guest book Wow! Be happy and love your cats. Vacca: Congratulations. thoth: thoth: Congratulations to you both! Alfvaen: richter: All the best to you two, the best. jkcohen: Love answers love; what could be better? Jonathan jfw: M.: jfw: "Congratulations you two!" pater: kate: best of luck with everything! becca: congrtualtions. this is truly bizarre jules: woo hoo shamalama. Zed: Michele: Yay! Woowoo! @emit Tom the dink enjoys the ceremony! smarry: Oh bugger late again. smarry: Tardily wishing you good luck and phlogisticosh to come. edg: Congratulations! I wish you all possible happiness. edg: (or more!) strych9: Best wishes. Sincerely. gooley: adams: best of all possible everythings. corprew: much love, best of luck. fred: Fred Pullen, real-life witness. zvi: Zvi was here. He had a lovely time. mad, mad, mad adams: sorry I screwed up the time zones and missed the ceremony. vampyr: to you both, the best and even better. zvi: may you both live and love in joy. kristen: Happiness and eternal bumfondles, love, sex, chocolate. Alfvaen: Lagged horribly, but I'm sure it'll be a lovely ceremony. Sai: (Sas) Ifyouneverslowdown, younevergrowold. Stayyoung!-Sas Zed: Like be nice to each other, okay? digger: Peace, Love and impunity >n Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium The wedding chapel is quietly abuzz with excitement. White roses adorn the pews and podium. Red candles are alight on the altar and music plays quietly in the background. Contents: j.j >s Chapel Antechamber You are filled with a sense of peace and serenity. The chapel lies through a large set of double doors to the north, the bar is back to the south. People mill around, chatting quietly before entering the chapel. An usher approaches you and asks that you read the "Wedding Information" pamphlet and program prior to finding a seat for the ceremony. Contents: Program, Wedding Info Pamphlet, Guest Book, j.j >s Klortho's Bar Welcome to Klortho's. A squid is cheating at cards in a corner, while the bouncer plays piano. A sign over a door to the north reads "Klortho's Wedding Chapel and Coffee Emporium." Contents: TTT.BTT, Invitation, saint.bob, vat.bob postponed, Lock's new email address, Tom, gnat, waider, d., tapaboy, vampyr, kate, becca, corprew, troc, j.j corprew waves to j.j. becca congratulates j.j corprew leaves for the showers. corprew has disconnected. corprew goes home. j.j says, "happy birthday, corp!" j.j says, "rats." j.j says, "thanks, becca!" corprew has arrived. tapaboy says, "and when the rest of america read the new they will be motivated to get out and vote him down" corprew says, "thanks, j.j" corprew has disconnected. corprew goes home. waider says, "Who're the other too, tapa?" vampyr says, "does cereal taste better when you're married?" tapaboy says, "ummm, frick and frack. Dole and Alaxender?" waider aha, right. It's on the Irsih Times front page. waider cnat tpey j.j says, "pretty much the same, vampyr." tapaboy says, "not that they are better but aren't the Ayatollah that buchanene is" tapaboy says, "what it really means is that there are no viable republican candidates and we get to have 4 more years of Slick Willie" becca says, "also, I gather big business is unlikely to side with buchanan" waider greases up tapa for ol' Slick. tapaboy says, "buchanen only appeals to religous right, and bigots and such" waider says, "Anyone got corp's new email address handy?" tapaboy says, "he has extreme protectionist trade views that is counter to traditional conservative values" troc says, "There's some serious modelling going on in the Yuan Ming Yuan project." waider wants a mailreader with SCORING, dammit. waider says, "Oh, and it has to run under emacs." waider gets the Cyrano server to write a message to buchanan@xtian.loonies.org stevi has arrived. gnat says, "hi stevi." stevi shaloms and stuff. stevi says, "So how are things the morning after?" waider says, "yay stevi" waider ! troc says, "Hi, stevi." gnat says, "jv: I think it would be dangerous to over-estimate the sense of the average voting American. Protectionism won with the average worker many times in the past." gnat says, "we're fragile, but still en-ringed." gnat says, "stevi: what time did you get into work this morning?" stevi wanna see the pictures! stevi says, "I got in a few minutes ago." gnat says, "stevi: we'll get them developed today." gnat says, "stevi: did you go back in last night?" stevi says, "Yeah, we came here straight from dinner. Thought I'd just get it over." gnat says, "how did it go? All done? How long did it take?" stevi says, "I don't think Fred understood exactly how inane things are here." gnat hates Votelink with stevi. gnat says, "now he does?" stevi says, "It went fine, took about ten minutes. Now Alexia wants to change a question." gnat says, "she does? Good god, no wonder the editorial clue left." stevi takes a deep breath. gnat says, "stevi: are you SURE you need this shit just to buy a house?" stevi says, "constantly changing jobs looks bad on a mortgage application." vampyr wonders when the American Family Association became a front for Fascist Religious Psychotics. tapaboy says, "gnat: yeh, and the ``mexicans are stealing my job'' paranoia can play big too" gnat says, "what about kiwis?" tapaboy says, "kiwis are ok because they are cute and fuzzy and talk english like the rest of us even if they do it with a funny accent" vampyr says, "and they wear leather and carry swords around." gnat says, "eamon: only on bed." gnat says, "uh, *in* bed." vampyr says, "even better!" tapaboy says, "huh: graphics.anvil.com: hostname unknown" d. goes to lunch. gnat and j.j run away to work. tapaboy says, "so now it's ``work'' once you get married?" waider grins at tapa becca's not feeling good. gonna go home soon. kate says, "oog." troc says, "Get well, okay?" becca curses whatever it is about cape cod that makes her sick all the time becca says, "troc: thanks, I will." becca waves becca has disconnected. becca goes home. kate has disconnected. kate goes home. kate has arrived. Yossioren has arrived. Yossioren says, "ARE THEY MARRIED YET?" Yossioren hopes he didn't miss it. troc says, "Hello. The ceremony was last night" troc counted 42 people in the `who` list during the vows. kate says, "there were more folks participating, too, by proxy" Yossioren says, "why, FUCK!" Yossioren wants a log. Anybody got a log? Tom says, "good morning." Tom says, "how did you manage to miss it, Yossi? I guess you have a pretty difficult time zone change." kate says, "i do, yossi, but i need to trim it down before i mail it out later this aft." kate says, "email your address to kate@vir.com please" kate says, "hi tom!" Tom says, "fooble." Tom says, "we are drowning in dishes. And bottles." Tom says, "that was some wedding." waider says, "Hi Tom" Yossioren thinks, SERIOUSLY, that the rights to the log could and should be sold to a magazine. Housewarmer for the newlyweds. waider is sorry he had to cut out at the reception, but hey, I gotsta get SOME sleep. kate says, "yossi, j.j was adamantly against turning it into a press stunt." Yossioren says, "Tom, by the time I figured out what time 7PM was, it was 1AM. Problem." waider says, "The service was excellent. Worth waiting up for." tapaboy was lost in the wrong room and couldn't log in again from hojme Yossioren says, "hold on." Yossioren exits to the chapel. Yossioren has arrived. Tom exits to the chapel. AjD has arrived. AjD says, "rehi" Tom has arrived. kate says, "hi art. how's the head today?" kate says, "if i mail folks the log, do they want some of the hectic chatter before and after, or just the service?" Tom has a humungous log of the event also. AjD says, "kate: since tom was in the chapel before the procession started, maybe you can use his or combine the two." AjD says, "that way you get the whole procession, plus the chatter." Yossioren says, "I want the whole thing. I want it all! In Helvetica Condensed Extrabold!" jkcohen has arrived. jkcohen says, "And how are the newlyweds this fine morning?" Yossioren mumbles "shucks shucks shucks." Yossioren says, "kate, er, when's the afternoon? I mean, in how much time?" waider has disconnected. waider goes home. AjD says, "oh yeah -- no hangover, thanks for asking. i might've had a lot of tequila, but i also had a bike bottle full of water that i was pulling from the whole time, too." kate heh. sensible. kate says, "give me a sec, yossi. you can have a rough cut in a few minutes." Tom is editing his up, too. vampyr would like as much log as he can get. Tom says, "okay:" Tom says, "http://boutell.com/~boutell/wedding.txt" troc says, "Pre-game chatter is important." Tom says, "I left in one really good 'who' list, although it may not be definitive." vampyr says, "tom! you got mail during the event!" waider has arrived. Tom says, "hee! That does get logged, duznit." waider ack. Gateway timed out. troc briefly considers mapping a star catalogue to spheres in a 10000-unit sphere. waider says, "Hey, how about a BIG merged log?" vampyr hopes someone logged the evisceration. troc says, "I have a log of events, too." gnat returns. Tom has left. waider says, "HYPERLINKED! ON THE "WEB"! WE CAN "SURF" IT!" waider ahem. troc watches ronan wipe out. gnat dropped in the photos to the 1-hr place. He crosses his fingers, hoping they'll come out. Tom has arrived. waider fights with Wingz. vampyr sees the world of NH through tom's eyes. troc says, "Congratulations, Tom. The MUD is robust." vampyr says, "this is scary." Yossioren says, "who's 'sai'?" d. says, "woohoo!" Tom says, "sai is gnat's wonderful Down Under friend who writes automatic NH <--> IRC gateways and saves my net." d. says, "I got a big packet of leftest propaganda from digger today." kate says, "sai is a friend of gnat's in NZ" Tom says, "sai gets a cookie for his valiant efforts yesterday." Yossioren says, "so what exactly happened? was there a channel on IRC? Who was on it?" vampyr still hasn't forgiven waider for screwing up his chances with becca. Tom says, "Yossi: it was a private irc network in NZ, used by many of gnat's friends. They participated via some sort of nifty hack in Sai's mud client." Tom says, "Yossi: thus reducing the impact to *one* juicy file descriptor." waider giggles. Oh yeah. Sure I did. Every woman likes a man who's willing to sacrifice himself. waider's log is at home on gonzo. Anyone want copies? No? I didn't think so. vampyr says, "becca isn't every woman. she's a GODDESS." troc says, "42 connections during the vows, Tom." Tom says, "nice." troc made a point of recording the `who` list and getting personal descriptions. "I took lots of virtual pictures." Tom sings "I'm Every Woman" waider says, "Godesses LOVE sacrifices, vampy" vampyr says, "point well taken." waider sewes that it is indeed all in Tom. waider says, "sees" Yossioren says, "um, um, um, who was in RILL LIFE with j.j and gnat?" waider cannot type for fuck. Stayin gup til a mere 3am threw me for a loop. What kind of a wuss am I? gnat says, "stevi and fred, yossi." Tom says, "Yossi, the physical honorables." waider says, "Actually, Yossi's question expanded? who was with who in real life?" gnat says, "42 plus about 10 in NZ" vampyr's favorite moment of the wackiness: 'j.j kills and YANKS. "all hail emacs"' "the killing and yanking of vows. how touching." waider was with Orla. Briefly. Orla was unwell, however, and took to bed again. troc says, "Is tequila kosher? What about mescal?" troc grins at Tom's guestbook entry. AjD says, "good tequila is made solely from cactus juice, water, and probably yeast. it might be kosher, depending on the yeast." Tom says, "Michele and myself and Corp were logged in; Jason and (my sister) Jen were also in attendance." Yossioren says, "why not, troc? It's vegetarian!" gnat exits to the chapel. Yossioren sidenotes that grape-based wine is unkosher in some cases, as is cognac. troc says, "What about the worm, Yossi?" Tom says, "I asked people to conserve file descriptors by sharing a screen." waider says, "Tom: it was very difficult to tell who was physically where at times." waider says, "AjD was?" waider says, "In Ann Arbor?" Michele has arrived. waider says, "Hallo Michele" Yossioren says, "troc, the worm is a practical joke." AjD says, "yes, waider. i was in michigan." gnat has arrived. Ferret has arrived. waider says, "Ah. AjD. I didn't see you there. 'pologies!" Michele gets misdirected squishy mail! AjD says, "troc: some mescal has a worm, tequila has no worm." Tom squishes Michele! Ferret says, "AIE!" vampyr says, "thanks for trying to save me last night, michele." Michele says, "Tom! Not in front of everybody!" Michele says, "Hee." vampyr tackles ferret! gnat laughs at Michele's comment in the guest book. troc says, "It's not very practical for the worm... so mescal worms aren't kosher?" waider understood that tequila was a type of mescal, like burgundy is a type of wine? Tom exits to the chapel. Michele says, "Well, if I'd known it was all a joke..." Tom has arrived. Ferret exits to the chapel. Michele exits to the chapel. Tom says, "I think the chapel is a keeper. We should just relabel it a bit over time." waider has an exit off the chapel at the moment. Don't nuke the chapel! vampyr votes yes to keeping the chapel. waider says, "It's geographically correct wrt where I live" troc says, "Seal it behind glass and charge admission." troc checks out the guest book. troc exits to the chapel. Ferret has arrived. troc has arrived. troc says, "Maybe with wax replicas of the people who attended." Michele has arrived. gnat says, "troc: wax? *vaseline* replicas!" Michele waves. Tom heads for the shower. Foo. AjD says, "soap sculptures." gnat shakes his head again in disbelief: "Buchanan?!" troc says, "Tritium lawn gnomes." troc says, "Have taken over New Hampshire." jkcohen says, "Please prepare to fear." jkcohen notes that the middle line has an extra syllable. AjD says, "talk about having a court jester promoted to king." stevi exits to the chapel. AjD says, "pat buchanan's probably in his hotel room right now, jizzing happily." troc says, "Are controlling New Hampshire." tapaboy says, "no, more likely sacrificing more animals to Satan" AjD says, "well, he's jizzing on the animal carcasses." stevi has arrived. stevi finally signs the guest book. d. tries to figure out what to send digger back... stevi says, "But then again, my signature is on the Marriage License." end of my log