[Daytime in a village market. Among the variously bustling and browsing VILLAGERS, two women warriors (KILLISTO and CHOCLICO) suddenly face off!]

KILLISTO
Get out of my way!

CHOCLICO
[not in the greatest of moods, due to long lack of chocolate] Hey!
Shut up and step out of my way, bitch!

KILLISTO
[shrieking] Get out of my waaay! [draws sword]

CHOCLICO
[rolls eyes] Hard of hearing, huh? You step out of my way!

KILLISTO
[grins] You should be a more eager student! [thrusts sword]

[But CHOCLICO swiftly jumps aside, jumping into the confectioner's store they are standing in front of. CHOCLICO goes directly to the counter, looking over the selection. She has such an eye for chocolate, she knows which is quality, which is crap. KILLISTO doesn't care about the chocolate. KILLISTO rolls her eyes, outraged at being ignored, goes in hurling herself at CHOCLICO with a shriek!]

[CHOCLICO anticipated that and jumps up in the air, powered not only by the unquestionable awe of chocolate's effect but also by her desire pushing her for several days now! She'd deliberately held back from looking for her chocolate fix earlier in order to enhance the reward once she got it.]

[KILLISTO screams but notices that CHOCLICO had indeed stepped aside from where KILLISTO was going and is not going to attack! CHOCLICO looks at her saying the same thing with her eyes. Wryly.]

KILLISTO
You aren't going to get away with that. Not because you got in my way, now, but because I could use a good kill. [giggles a little with an adorable, coy smile]

CHOCLICO
Would love to chat, but I gotta go. [spin-flies over the counter, knocking over the quavering SHOPKEEPER!]

KILLISTO
[screams, then smiles with lust] You don't deserve to live.
And you won't.

CHOCLICO
And you deserve to live?
If I split the chocolates with you, will you forgive me for whatever it is I'm doing to you?

KILLISTO
[incredulous] I don't give a dinar about the damn chocolates!

CHOCLICO
Then you're the one who deserves to die! Chocolate exists.

KILLISTO
Well, I certainly can't argue with that. [briefly falls into a stupor]

[CHOCLICO draws her sword, with deft swipes, sweeps the best chocolates into her readily released sack! A few seconds later, she has the sack over her shoulder and is wielding her sword in KILLISTO's face.]

[KILLISTO snarls, snapping out of her chocolate stupor (no one can deny the powers of chocolate), getting back into her blood lust!]

[A wild struggle ensues! KILLISTO and CHOCLICO fighting desperately, both running on the power of their "philosophies" and lack of fulfilling their respective desires! KILLISTO: trying to give CHOCLICO the long death she so obviously deserves (she has little appreciation for the finality of death)! But CHOCLICO doesn't seem to care! CHOCLICO's trying to force feed chocolate to KILLISTO who richly needs to learn what greatness chocolate is! But KILLISTO seems to not even notice the delight of chocolate shoved in her mouth and where ever else it lands in their vicious struggle! Their weapons are lost early in the fray, sent skidding across the stone floor of the shop! They are locked in a wrestling match! ]

[Each is trying to roll the struggle toward the goal of their maximum benefit for their values! KILLISTO: toward any weapon! But a gathering group of VILLAGERS, and the SHOPKEEPER, are edging toward the weapons too! CHOCLICO's aim is to go toward her sack of pillaged chocolate, which some VILLAGERS are edging toward, too!]

KILLISTO
[shrieking] I am going to release you from this torment you call living!

CHOCLICO
[screeching] What!? Eat, bitch! By Zeus! Don't you see I am doing you a favor!

[KILLISTO chokingly spits chocolate back in CHOCLICO's face and harpy screams!]

[CHOCLICO swallows the spat chocolate with obvious delight because it shot right into her eager mouth! Some of the VILLAGERS gathered are watching the fight out of morbid, erotic, and chocoholic fantasies!]

[KILLISTO's in delight again in the desperateness of the fight! This fool wants to live, she thinks, I'll show her something better!]

[CHOCLICO suddenly rolls to the sack, recognizing the threat of the VILLAGERS! In the same instant, she grabs KILLISTO's sword, which had slid nearby the sack! The VILLAGERS jump back, gasping! In the same instant, KILLISTO jumped up and grabbed CHOCLICO's sword on the other side of the room! In the same instant, the SHOPKEEPER rushed out the back door for the law!]

KILLISTO
[chuckling] Ah! I have such a sweet surprise awaiting you!

CHOCLICO
[wink] That's what I was gonna say.

[KILLISTO does her long, drawn out, enjoying laugh: contemplating oblivion. CHOCLICO does likewise, but is contemplating a chocolate satiation! The VILLAGERs look at each other, doubting.]

OLD GRANDFATHER
These women have gone over the edge. Come, Hector, you don't want to be seeing this.

HECTOR
Yeah I do.. [follows him, but repeatedly looks back]

[The two WOMEN dive toward each other again! CHOCLICO with her sword screeching upward, a chocolate at the end of it! KILLISTO deflecting it. Several VILLAGERS scramble for that chocolate as it flies off of the sword! A YOUNG BOY gets it but a BIG GIRL greedily takes it from him!]

[Suddenly, a DEPRESSED YOUTH is between KILLISTO and CHOCLICO! He's looking right at KILLISTO!]

KILLISTO
[impatient] Step aside, we're busy.

DY
I want to die. I see what you're about.. Kill me. Please.

[KILLISTO is interested! She completely forgets CHOCLICO while talking to the youth.]

KILLISTO
Yes.. Do you know what a great thing Death is, hmm?

DY
Yes, I do. Please.. Give it to me.. [looks into her eyes]

[CHOCLICO is gently trying to put chocolates into DY's hand. But he just drops them, not at all interested. He's also growing entranced by KILLISTO. CHOCLICO's dumbfounded! KILLISTO doesn't notice, is just as entranced by the suicidally DEPRESSED YOUTH as he is with her! As KILLISTO suddenly shoves her sword upward into his gut, she watches a clarity come over his eyes, quickly followed by a cloudiness, and his eyes gently shut. He crumples to the stone floor in a heap, like a sack of potatoes and KILLISTO pulls her sword out.. She contemplatively touches the blood..]

[CHOCLICO has gone outside. She is handing out chocolates to the VILLAGERS, looking into all of their eyes.]

CHOCLICO
Remember: Chocolate Exists.
Remember: Chocolate Exists.
Remember: Chocolate Exists.

[Some VILLAGERS aren't interested, pass their chocolates on to someone else. Some of the VILLAGERS interested in chocolate follow CHOCLICO in a happy daze, while some reconsider their desire, handing theirs to another person.]

[The MAGISTRATE and SEVEN GUARDS have arrived, disregarding CHOCLICO until someone points to her as being a robber. There are more serious charges now, people are shouting in opposition! So the MAGISTRATE has only two GUARDS go after CHOCLICO! CHOCLICO starts running!]

[KILLISTO heard the shouting and readies her sword, loathe as she is to turn from enjoying Death's visit.]

VILLAGER
She killed him!

MAGISTRATE
I can see the blood on your sword, that's enough for me. Now you can go in easily or have a fight, but the fight'll make things worse in front of the judge.

MOTHER
That damn kid was useless anyway, and asked for it! Let her go!

YOUTH
She's right. I mean, I saw him ask. He did ask for it. Literally.

VILLAGER #1
She was too ready to do it. She's a menace on the loose!

[But a fight between the FIVE GUARDS and KILLISTO has started! Some VILLAGERS go off by themselves to puke about all that they'd witnessed.. But most VILLAGERS continue to argue and watch.]

VILLAGER #2
She was going to kill the robber!

VILLAGER #1
Not because she was a robber, but because she was "in the way"! What if you were in the way?

VILLAGER #3
And you say "robber" yet I saw you eat some of the stolen chocolate! Doesn't that make you a robber too?

OLD MAN
I'm getting a headache..

[The fight continues in the shop, the dead youth's MOTHER leaning in the doorway, screeching.]

MOTHER
I'm telling you, he was worthless! She did him and us a favor! Release her! Release her!

[But she wasn't even caught! KILLISTO resented this presupposition that she'd lose! But in the tight confines of the shop, though the fighters had made more room by smashing the counters, it wasn't looking good. The shop's walls were stone.. "Gods," she thought, "you can't even get a good fire going in here."]

 
[Meanwhile, CHOCLICO, only dealing with two GUARDS, escapes them by spin-flying up into some trees! The GUARDS set about lighting the trees on fire, but she is a damn good gymnast and calmly plans to jump into another and another tree, and make her getaway! While waiting for the right moment, she looks around. It is a good, dense forest. Her new followers are gone. They'd snapped out of their stupor and run away.]

 
[Meanwhile in the village, the OLD MAN suddenly erupts and does what he'd never had the guts to do before: tell off that MOTHER! She'd destroyed her own kid! KILLISTO was somewhat distracted by all of the conversations among the VILLAGERS. That, plus the situation and number of well-armored GUARDS against her, meant that she would eventually be captured..]

 

Epilogue

KILLISTO was captured, tried, and sentenced to prison. She was sad that the fight with the GUARDS hadn't brought her death, yet glad to think of the torment she could give Xena one day.

The MOTHER died a year later. Not killed by law but via her extra drinking brought on by the shame that the other VILLAGERS seemed to level at her after the killing!

The VILLAGERS sometimes idly discussed among themselves whether perhaps KILLISTO could be put to good use: give her a job as executioner. Why not? But most thought she was too crazy to hold any job. It was a good topic for afternoon conversations over drinks, from time to time.

CHOCLICO? CHOCLICO had escaped but most of the chocolates remained on the ground, melted under a not very well controlled forest fire.

 

The End.. ?